Difficult relationship getting me down

[Rockdaylia44]

That's just it really, love him but nothing is easy everything feels like hard work. Been together 15 year's. Loads of ups downs.i have depression all my life take meds. At the moment if I say black he says white. We had therapy that helped but recent traumatic events including 3 bereavements and illness have started our problems again. Not sure what I'm asking just need to vent.

Is it time to call it a day? Maybe he’s a contributing factor to your depression. Don’t stay with him because it’s convenient or a habit. You may love him, but do you actually like him?

Yes. Has this relationship in fact run its course and is the fact that you are flogging a dead horse contributing to your depression?

Sometimes I do honestly ask myself do I actually like him, it's always difficult. Just need to vent

Been such a difficult time.
When its good it's good and When it's bad it's bad.
, no violence but he gets extremely defensive when I voice my opinions on his moodiness and being genearlly grumpy.
This happened yesterday he snapped he has since apologised as he had toothache and hadn't slept.
Things jog along well for a while then stress happens and our marriage struggles. So drained and exhausted living like this but can't seem to walk away. Tried before but we end up sorting it out. So the cycle starts again.

What is preventing you from leaving the man?.

Whats he like to those in the outside world?. He does not treat his work colleagues like this does he.

What you are in is an abusive relationship with the attendant nice/nasty cycle of abuse which is a continuous one. This will not change until you find it within yourself to walk away from your abusive husband. I would also think he is the root cause of you being depressed and you may not need the pills if you are apart. If you were to contact Women s aid they could also help you.