No idea what to do

[Dailystruggles]

I can’t sleep and am feeling really fragile. Issues with mil. Dh and dd. The you have a dh problem not a mil problem applies. However, dh says that the way his mum treats me even in my own home is not his problem/fault. Even teen dd has joined in and said it’s not their problem.

You need to start standing up for yourself because evidently, no one else will. Your husband just wants an easy life at your expense.

Stop waiting for someone to swoop in and save you.

"What do you mean by that?"
"Please don't talk to me like that."
"That's enough."

My MIL was like that with me. After years of trying with her and putting up with the rudeness, I went no contact. It was such a relief.

Dame would I be putting up with that, especially not in my own home, tell your dh she is no longer welcome in your home and if they want a relationship with the horrible woman they will have to do it else where.

It’s your DH’s home too, his mother and he should support you. Does he avoid standing up to his mother? Can you behave as if she’s inaudible, invisible, not worth your attention?
If not, here are two responses which I have had to use with two hard of thinking people who were hell bent on being nasty. (Speak firmly, unemotionally and with unshakeable self-belief.)
First provocation - “Don’t go there.”
Continuing provocation - “Don’t push me to say something you won’t want to hear.”
Yes, I know they’re threats but they indicate my boundaries. And they work.

DH won’t say boo to his mum or should I say mummy 😂. He tried years ago with one thing and she threatened to not speak to us again. He’s not prepared to deal with any hostility from her again so won’t say anything Our relationship is stronger apparently and should withstand her behaviour as it’s only a small portion of the week we spend time in her company.

Could you sure you’re out when she appears?

@Paintedtoenailz i think I might need to!

Could you try to avoid her? Don’t go to her house, and try to not be home or in the room when she comes to your place. Don’t give more than one word answers if she speaks to you. Make her feel comfortable being around you.

Time to be blunt.
"Kindly do not speak to me like that"
"I don't agree with you"
"No, thank you, "

and eventually just don't answer the door.

Or if your DH let's the evil woman in, take a book, a snack and a door wedge, and retreat to your bedroom. Do not come out until she has left.

If that doesn't work, decamp and visit your family. If DH expects you to warm his bed and help with domestic bliss, it's time he respected your wishes and grew a spine.

I’m leaving him! Thinks came to a head last week and I’ve got a lawyer involved. He seems to think all we need is a sex therapist.