This is kind of long. I've been with my boyfriend for over 6 years. We went long distance around two years ago. I am in Scotland and he moved back over to the ROI around two years back after a close family member passed away leaving a significant inheritance of money and real estate. It is all incredibly complicated as there are 9 siblings, plus several half siblings, all of whom are in the will, however.... there has been fraudulent activity within the family, sadly, and also involving the legal system, and a large part of the inheritance has "disappeared". He has fallen out with almost all of his family bar a couple of brothers due to this situation since starting the process of determining who is behind it all. It has caused a great deal of stress for him, as you can imagine.
He is lucky in being able to work remotely on a permanent basis. I also work from home with a couple of days a week in the office just a 15 minute drive away.
I also lost a close family member just under one year ago and although I have relative stability financially, I have been left a house which is in dire need of repair, as well as being a carer to my older sister and an uncle. My sister has just gone into a care home, which takes some pressure off, however, there have been some teething problems with allegations of abuse and theft by staff. This is now under investigation.
For my house, I need to organise so many repairs, a rewire, a new roof, new windows and doors, garden clearance and the house is quite hoarded. I am currently living in it and am just about managing, however, I also need to move house from where I was previously renting around an hour's drive away and that is a big job in itself with pressure now on me from my landlady, as she has a new tenant and needs me to get a move on. I need to make space in the house I was left to move all my possessions into, but that is also slow progress given everything else. I have struggled with ongoing grief. Counselling has helped somewhat, but it's an up and down road sadly and some days I am still floored by it.
So you can see I feel kind of alone and unsupported. My best friend has had a massive nervous breakdown and is in hospital and my other good friends are all just so busy with work and their own lives.
Before my boyfriend went back to Ireland, it wasn't always plain sailing. He could be very supportive verbally and helpful at giving advice but not particularly proactive. Very often if I needed him he would be smoking and drinking with his friends. We didn't live together then and there were also some issues with him lying, some serious stuff which I forgave, but never forgot. I guess what I'm trying to say is he broke the trust between us on several occasions and I ended it a few times, but we always ended up back together. There were also some issues of him criticising my appearance, disguised as jokes actually and really ogling other women in public, going on dating sites if we had a really bad fight, and I have never forgotten those instances, and I find every time I have doubts about him again, all that old stuff rears its ugly head and I just want to end it.
On top of all that, I know he has had loads of time off work and and I have needed so much help here. I never asked him directly but on several occasions he has said "Oh... what a shame I'm not there to help you". Or " Such a shame, I could have been there to help you." Am I wrong to feel downright insulted...?
So he has to travel now and then between Roscommon, where he currently stays, and Dublin, where the legal team are. I have never understood why he can't just email or fax a lot of documents he talks about regarding the estate etc., but he insists they have to see him in person. Yesterday he texted around 10 am to say he was on his way to Dublin to meet with his lawyer. I contacted him in the afternoon and gave him an update of my day. He would usually be back in touch with an update himself but nothing. This morning around 10 am I get a text from him apologising and that he got back quite late last night. I assumed it was the last train, doesn't get in until 9.30 pm. A few hours later, we exchanged audios on WhatsApp and he told me he only got back this morning.
I haven't asked him why he said he'd both got back last night as well as this morning. But it looks like he forgot his initial lie to me and once again, all the old crap has reared its ugly head.
The interesting thing is that I had a really strong intuition yesterday that he was cheating... or out looking to do so. And in the past, my intuition has never been wrong.
I think I'm being played... again. Would love some feedback.