Would you tell teen the truth about abuse in the family ?

[NarcMindGames]

My mother was extremely abusive to me throughout my childhood and into my late teens. Horrific emotional abuse and an episode of physical abuse that left permanent damage and I still have therapy for PTSD so very, very severe in nature.

I was painted as ‘the problem child’ and the ‘off the rails’ teen. My mother lied to everyone that I was on drugs (never took any) and carefully cultivated a perfect public image for herself. She set the scene so if I ever I spoke out I would be immediately easy to discredit.

She has managed to get in contact with my teenage DS. She has been calling/texting and popping into where he works. He has no idea about the past I had just gone NC, he never questioned anything (he has ASD so maybe that’s why). I don’t want her to contact him but what can I do ? Tell him the truth and hope he blocks her ?

How old is your son?

Absolutely tell him the truth. He deserves to have all the information and if he's working he's old enough to be told.

He knows and trusts you. She has not been part of his life before this.

Depending on where his sense of fairness lies, be prepared that he may confront her and you will need to support him when she turns manipulative and lies to him too.

I went NC with my mother after years of similar and trying to placate this as an adult, sister has LC but our adult children all know and have followed suit themselves. They experienced the manipulation not physical abusive themselves.

Absolutely I would. How dare she!

Absolutely tell him the full truth.
Consider reporting her to the police.
Let that soften her cough.

You poor woman, you owe her nothing.

I would tell him now before she fabricates lies that he may believe if he’s naive to the way she is

Tell him the truth

17

I would tell him

I think I have to tell him I don’t think I have a choice really, I just never wanted to speak about it again aside from in therapy.

Just think of it as equipping him to deal with her appropriately, if he has ASD he may not be able to read the cues as well, if he’s forewarned at least he knows the red flags to look out for.

This will sound awful and make me seem like a terrible person but i cannot wait for the day she dies for that closure and to feel safe again. I was ok and I’ve been doing well for a long time now and this just makes me feel vulnerable again and worried for my ds. She knows what to target and she will see any weaknesses and exploit them .

I know. It always takes arseholes forever to go.
Hugs xxxx

It doesn't make you sound terrible, it's a really really normal to feel.

You are not alone in those feelings @NarcMindGames. Doubt there are many out there who haven't at least thought once they can't wait for their abusers to die.

Unfortunately seems the truly evil will outlive us all.