I really want to know how to escape from my crazy husband

[cl2746719]

My husband has been shouting and yelling at me all the time on trivial things. He blames me for everything and gets angry when I am not doing things his way. Basically, he way is the right way, there is no other way. Both my son and I have to obey him, if not, he would get really crossed and yell at us.

He verbally abuses me with foul languages and often throws things at me or even hit me in the heat of arguments.

My son loves sleeping with me, so sometimes I sleep with my son. My husband sometimes get upset with me if I don't sleep with him. The problem is I can't sleep well with him as he always wake me up in the middle of the night and do whatever he wants to do. I don't like it. I actually feel more secured sleeping next to my son.

I think I might have mental issues because of his abuse over the years.

I really really want to put it a stop and leave him.

So many times I want to take my son with me and just leave and never come back. However, reality is I don't have the courage to do it. Our lives are so tangled with each other. It is not easy to grab and go.

Despite his poor anger control, my son adores him. How could I leave without hurting my son's feeling? Leaving means uprooting everything my son is used to. What should I do?

On good days, we are a happy family; but on bad days, I cry and ask myself why do I ended up living in this miserable life. I honestly don't know what I am doing. I just need someone to talk to.

I'm so sorry to hear this,OP. Contact Women's Aid on 08082000247. They can help you.
There are many stories on Mumsnet where women have had the courage to leave, to protect their children and themselves. Good luck dear. Don't wait, ring them as soon as you can.
Homepage - National Domestic Abuse Helpline search.app/8UVmA3moMox5SNz97

Staying will damage you both.
,I experienced DV as a child id have been about your son's age I saw and heard things and had violence put upon me .
50 years later I've come to terms with it so you can see it leaves its mark.
Your husband is a very dangerous man get advice on how to leave safely.

Your son doesn't understand abuse or that his dad is abusive and children develop a trauma bond with their parents.

Your husband is raping you, emotionally abusive and physically abusive. You can't keep your son in this environment.

You need to contact a domestic abuse organisation and get support to leave. You can call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline which is 24/7. If you can't speak on the phone, Refuge has a webchat facility.

You need advice to leave safely.

Sounds like you need a break from being constantly on eggshells?
Do any agencies know, such as GP, health visitor, nursery, social services, police? They will have seen it before, and know what to do.
Pack and hide a bag for you and your LO, with copies of important documents and (if you can afford it) a cheap phone with numbers saved for women's aid or similar (and your family, job, GP, )

Its heartbreaking when kids love abusers. Kids are resilient, and you will be amazed at his strength

I think you need to get police involved. He sounds terrifying.

You’ve had the advice to call women’s aid and the police. This is your way out to freedom. You are being abused and raped. Your ds may show love for your husband but he needs his mummy to be safe and secure. Perhaps he is too little to be aware of the abuse or he may be showing love to his dad to appease him, which can happen with an abusive parent.

OP you got this. It feels so so tough when you are in it but there is support out there. Please reach out. If you are scared for your safety then go to a refuge. The police have specialist domestic violence units as well. Or womens aid.

Your son will be OK. Right now he is very young but as he grows up he will become more aware and it will mess him up. Kids have a natural instinct to love their parents even if their parents are neglectful and hurt them. So its not surprising that your son loves his dad. There are ways for your husband to spend time with your son even if you are not together.

Wishing you all the best