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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Going out once a week

6 replies

Vileperson · 13/01/2025 22:06

I am separating from my partner, it's been over a long time ! Years! I hate being in this house. I work full time and do all household duties. We have 2 children. He works part time.
We both own the house.
the atmosphere at home for me is claustrophobic and I just want it to be over and get a house of my own now. But will be long process with divorce.
i go out one evening a week, typically Saturday night.
I have had comments from soon be ex husband that apparently this is terrible behaviour and everyone he asks agrees.

I have absolutely no issues with him going out the other 6 nights if that's what he wants, does not bother me in the slightest.

if it was just me and kids alone I wouldn't feel need to go out but I can't stand being there most of time so feel I need that one night out to just be free and see friends and do as I please.

i am one who takes kids all kids parties, out every weekend doing some sort of activity. He does nothing with them never has.
am I that evil for having this one night a week to myself?

OP posts:
EternalSunshine19 · 13/01/2025 22:09

Please don't take any notice of him. His jealous and worried you're having fun. He would much rather you be at home where he can see your every move and doesn't need to worry you might meet someone else.
please continue to go out, its good for your mental health to have YOU time. Keep enjoying yourself.

TheTruthHurtsDontIt · 13/01/2025 22:09

Oh ignore him, he's just butthurt that you have things in your life other than him. Don't let him make you feel guilty for living your life.

Bluedabadeeba · 13/01/2025 22:10

Of course not! What a ridiculous suggestion.

Is there any way you can live somewhere else for the time being?

TipsyJoker · 13/01/2025 22:45

He’s abusive. Ignore him. Could you buy him out the house?

Cheesandcrackers · 14/01/2025 07:19

The tell tale sign is "everyone he asks agrees". Classic guilt making tactic. Who else exactly are we talking about. Bet if you ask these people will vanish into shadow.

Bittenonce · 14/01/2025 10:31

Living with someone when you both want to split - can be the hardest thing. You don’t need to wait until a divorce is finalised before agreeing a financial split, and one of you moves out

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