Divorce- solicitors free 30 mins appt - what do i ask to maximise the time?

[Janelle84]

advice needed

10 year marriage
both earn pretty much same (he earns more if he gets bonuses)
renting
no shares/assets
both have pensions (mine is better than his as i prioritised paying, he didnt)
two kids -12/17
Already split savings 50/50

can we just walk away (preferred)? Want to be done and dusted as quick as possible so i can be free

he doesnt want to pay for a solicitor. Does he have to?

Hi!

Hope you're ok. Divorcing is always rubbish even when it's right.

In the circumstances you describe it seems likely a financial order would not award either anything and you can walk away but it's vital you finalise cutting financial ties by way of consent order if you both agree. Otherwise he might come back at you further down the line

You are likely to need a solicitor to draft the consent order then it's 58 pounds to submit. He doesn't technically need a solicitor. You can instruct one jointly to draft a consent order if you both agree and split the cost between you.

Good luck for a straight forward outcome.

In my experience they don't offer any advice or answer any questions specific to your circumstances unless you pay.

The free half hour is just spent explaining the process of getting a divorce to you and telling you what information you need to provide and the likely timescale.

Thank you. I applied online and now at the point that we need the financial order sorting/childcare order and maintenance payment. Then i can move on. I can taste freedom! Thank goodness

Do you think we have to declare pensions? I really don’t want him to know how much i have/have any of mine. Weve always had separate money/bank accounts

If you are both in agreement you can use divorce.com very economically

Yes, you’ll have to declare pensions.

I'm sure I'll get flamed, but me and my ExH literally divorced on line and didn't do a financial order. We agreed on a value for him buying me out, we kept our own pensions and walked away. We've always been amicable though and neither of us money driven in the sense of going after each other. We agree what he would pay towards DD and that always been done.
It was never even questioned as part of the online divorce.

So we didn't declare pensions etc. we just cracked on and went out separate ways.

me and my ExH literally divorced on line and didn't do a financial order

That’s quite a high risk thing to do for most people, as if there’s no financial order one person could still come back and make a claim years down the line. It can work if neither of you are the mercenary type, but a lot of people’s ExH / ExW might be tempted if their position changes

Yes you’ll have to declare pensions and he might be awarded some of yours. Do you know if he’ll want to come after it or would he be okay with leaving it alone?

I want to do things right really with a financial order. Hes crap with money, i want to break away from him and his drinking, frivolous spending (weekends/holidays away with friends) etc. he puts himself above me & kids, always has looking back, need it sorting asap. Ive had enough 🫤

Im hoping he wont but who knows. Im keeping quiet. Hopefully he will not compute when he sees the figures 😂

Very risky and stupid to not get everything agreed and finalised beforehand. One party wins 4million on the lottery, and ex can go for half.. or any other financial windfall.

Agree, i hopefully will win that lottery 24 hrs after getting the decree absolute! 🙌🤑

Sorry but that’s such a bad idea. If either of you come into some money (inheritance, lottery win), you’re leaving the door wide open for the ex to make a claim on it, even years down the line.

Just hope you don't come into a lot of money in the next 3 decades or worse die as depending who he's with or what happens to him he may come back for a bite of the cherry.

The legal fees alone will mean you or your estate would just give him money to go way.

The decree absolute to end the marriage has absolutely nothing to do with the financial settlement. Even after you’re divorced, he can pursue you for a financial settlement.

A clean break order is easy enough for a solicitor to draft if you and ex can agree the terms.

I did my own divorce via the online system, then when I got my decree absolute, I paid £249 to Express Divorce and they drafted my financial consent order, and then I paid the £58 court fee. Easy to get it all sorted and didn't have expensive solicitors costs. I did instruct a solicitor at first but she wasted so much time wanting to add different steps in the process and quoted me £2500 to do what Express Divorce did for £249.

He won't. He's just not the type and neither am I. But I do appreciate that doesn't work for everyone.
He ended up in a much better position for various reasons. I'm pleased for him. He's now remarried as well.

However it sounds like the Op is in a different position to me and needs it. I was just giving my opinion.

Everything I have is left to our DD. He wouldn't go after it. It's just not how he is. (Nor me). I guess if you don't know us then it's hard to see it. But it's just not remotely how he is.

Sorry cross posted

Says 90% of women who find out their ex is exactly the opposite of what they thought they were.

Ok. This thread has derailed because of my comment. So I'm stepping away. I'm happy with my decision. We've been separated 8 years so it's not like it's new.

Just updating the thread, ive got an appointment at the end of next week over the phone. Free 30 mins. I just need to prepare myself with figures, what weve agreed so they can put something in writing. She said i need a Clean Break Financial Order. Just want this sorting asap. I said H doesnt want representing and she said that was fine, he doesnt have to have legal advice if he doesn’t want to

Glad you’ve got an appointment. Hopefully your solicitor can draft the financial order for a fixed fee.

No, ex doesn’t need to have legal advice but your solicitor may caution him to obtain independent advice if s/he writes to him. S/he has a professional duty towards litigants in person to ensure they are aware of the need for advice.