Losing my mind or is he losing his?

[Ukrainebaby23]

DH blows hot and cold. If I say, for example I don't need any help, apparently I don't want him, if I say I could do with help to xxxx I'm overwhelming and demanding.

We have a DC2, who doesn't sleep and I get up with him most nights, the reasons for this are complex and not really related to this thread but I'm shattered.

DH seems to start off OK first thing , emerges ftom bed about 9.30ish then starts biting at about 11am. I don't do enough, I dont parent properly, I can't make a decision, he'll ask if I've got plans, I might say I need to get xxx, it's likely to be met with, why do you need that, are we all going, why this, why that.

He's a good man but seems to be spinning out of control. He has chronic pain, could this be affecting his mind? He makes a drama out of every little thing. I do my best to shop, cook, clean, but he's just horrid at the moment. He also echos stuff back at me, for example I say 'I'm doing z to engage DC' then next thing, he's saying the same thing.

Feel like I'm losing my mind.
Any advice welcome.

It's not you, it's him. Can he go back to GP and ask for more efficient pain management? While I have sympathy for what he is going through, he is taking it out on you, and you do NOT have to put up with him continuing to do that. I would send him to GP and then explain to him what he is doing and see how he takes it.

He’s abusive. Tell him to sort his shit out or the relationship is over. You empathise with his pain but that doesn’t give him the right to take it out on you. You’re not his emotional punching bag. Additionally, you don’t want your child growing up around a moody, angry man. They will think it’s ok to be treated that way or to treat women that way. He either shapes up or ships out.

The poor example is what concerns me the most.. Our little is quite spicy and copies easily so I can forsee getting an earful from him as well.

Thanks for support, sometimes it just helps to say it to someone.

This is so sad. He has to change or you have to end the relationship, if not for you, for your son.

I take it your DH doesn’t work @Ukrainebaby23 ?
I appreciate the pain issue, I have chronic pain and I am at home most of the time, while my partner is out. I do some work from home.
It keeps me sane and motivated.
Without it, it is easy to feel isolated and start picking on the other person and it’s not good at all.
I am not sure what medication he is on, but drugs like pregabelin can cloud your thinking and alter your personality.
You sound like you are working so hard and your DH needs to step up and help you to the best of his ability and show some gratitude for all you are doing.
Without that, you are an unpaid carer who is being bullied.

Thank you @PeggyMitchellsCameo, sorrh you have pain too, its horribly debilitating. DH has been working recently bc he found it difficult to get signed off and the benefits situation is complicated due to my working and other stuff.

However it's difficult for him to sustain work as he finds difficultly keeping a focus.
Anyway we've had a reasonable couple of days so I'm ever hopeful.

I hope you have a positive experience everyday. Thanks for your reply.