How can I just get him out of my mind and get on with my life???!!

[doingownheadin]

I got pg at 18 with my bf of 1 year, we were good for a while but due to family pressures and being pg at quite a young age I finished with him and messed him about an awful lot. DC is 9 this year and we've not been together since DC was 1yo. I now have a DP and another DC as does ExP. ExP sees DC every Saturday but we don't speak just the occasional wave. However, I cannot get him out of my mind and this has been since we split. I just plod on with my life, love both DC dearly and I do love my DP but why can't I get ExP out of my head?

I think up fantasies of meeting up and rekindling and have actual dreams about him.

So pathetic but why can't I just let it go? He's in a happy relationship now. I have never told him this or tried to contact him (other than about DC) - I wouldn't dare!

How can I just put it to bed and forget about him???

Why don't you go and talk to him? That may be enough to completely squash your crush in one go.

I think its because you have that "what if?" at the back of your mind. Although, you are both happy with your lives, there is always "what if we could have been a happy family", if that makes sense.

You also spilt up as you were both too young.If you had split up for other reasons, it would be a lot easier to move on.

Instead you split when you were young, now you have both grown up-so that "what if" is there.

Can't think of the perfect answer- sorry. Still "in love" with lots of my ex-s even though we split up!

Recommend-
listing all his bad points
thinking of the bad things he did
thinking of your current Ps good points

Alternatively, open up to him and it will either make things happen, if that's what you really want, or put the lid on it altogether when he runs off in disbeleif!