My relationship is broken. I'll say that straight away and I plan to leave my husband after a financial matter is settled later this year. I am in a long marriage with dc. Husband has been married once before. Over the past couple of years he has become increasingly emotionally abusive - name calling, gas lighting, sarcastic, manipulative and attempting to weaponise my dc. None of this I saw for many, many years and isn't behaviour I would have recognised at the outset - stable, loyal, honest. I see now I was vulnerable when I got married. I had my part to play.
Sorting through some paperwork recently, I stumbled upon his divorce paperwork, shoved at the back of a filing cabinet. I'd briefly seen the paperwork before but hadn't taken much notice. This time something told me to flick through and take a closer look.
It turns out his ex-wife was divorcing him for adultery not the other way around. He had constructed a story whereby he was the victim and I fell for every word of it and felt sorry for his predicament.
I am struggling to make sense of it. Essentially, my relationship was built on a lie. What is worse, he is adamant he doesn't like being lied to and relays this often to the dc. I don't want to tackle him about it. I want to leave. In the great scheme of things, it could be deemed as having happened before meeting me but am I right in thinking this is hugely manipulative? I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't have read it in black and white. I feel completely blindsided. I showed a friend who confirmed I had read it right. I'm now only starting to process it but struggling. We had many happy years and I'm struggling to put this into perspective. Anyone experienced anything similar?