Do you put your work before your leisure?

[NovemberMorn]

A family member has just booked a weeks holiday with her husband.
They have been happily married over 20years, 2 grown up children, (hers from a previous relationship) both career minded, and through hard work they have built up a lovely home and possessions.

This is the first holiday as a couple, they have ever had. When asked why, she said other things had always got in the way.

She regrets not taking time out to enjoy leisure time with her husband, but you can't get those years back.

Yes leisure doesn't pay the bills.

True, but there has to be a happy medium.

I would hate to lie on my death bed and wonder why I had spent the bulk of my life at work, not play.

Different people have different priorities which is absolutely their choice. For some people that's the level of home, car, latest gadget etc.

I personally struggle without holidays to look forward to and have to have something booked even if its just a weekend camping somewhere else! For that reason we don't focus on expensive things and live pretty cheaply. We could afford a bigger house but don't want to be only paying mortgage etc.

Not me, but a long standing friend. Married for 25 years and five children. He was pre-eminent in his field, set the standards, wrote the manuals, changed the law. Lots of day to day family time, because they lived in the same small city where he made his name, 10 minute walk to work. They had never spent a single night away together from the family home, until one weekend they had a planned short break away. Lovely time and so they started to plan for more. A few months later he died in his armchair at 49. His wife never remarried and continued to raise the children and now grandchildren.

That's sad, but it happens all too frequently, none of us know how much time we have.
My family member has worked so hard, we have taken the kids away with us frequently, because mum and dad were busy working, providing a beautiful home with all the latest paraphernalia....but not much family or leisure time.

That's great if you don't regret it, but she does...and I think many people do, especially when they get older and kids have flown the nest.

I take all my holiday and rarely work at weekends.
but Monday to Friday I do prioritise work (when childcare permits, I wouldn’t neglect dcs or leave them uncollected).

I work 37.5 hours a week. I try to stick to around this, but during the time my work pays for they are my priority except if there's an emergency and my family needs me. When I'm off work then I try to switch off, especially at the weekend and on holidays. It's a balance but I try to be fair to both.

I couldn’t give a toss about work. Only do it because our society is set up that you have to work to be able to live, so I work full time but only as a means to an end and don’t get any real meaning from it (and I have a pretty ‘good’/well paid job!)

Family and leisure time create great memories, I doubt work does.
If it's a toss up between the latest car or a family holiday, I know which one I would opt for.

It's a balance.

Most people would prioritise working and earning over time with family at least sometimes. Very few of us are paring our expenses so low that we can work as little as we possibly can. Equally, most people aren't earning as much money as possible in order to maximise their spending. The large majority fall somewhere in the middle. Obviously some people can earn a lot on little work, others have to do ridiculous hours to have any hope of covering the basics, so that has to be considered too.

And if these two have never had a holiday with DC because they were always working to pay for an expensive home and possessions, they're at the extreme.

I prefer a smaller house and not spending on “stuff” and clothes, no car

spend all my money on travel and activities / experiences

use all my annual leave for travel and take unpaid leave for travel and fun with my kids

i work to live, not live to work! working affords me the ability to enjoy my spare time doing the things i enjoy and with family and friends.

That's how we worked it.
When son was young and growing, we had to save in order to get the things we wanted. I think it took us about 15 years to actually have the kitchen overhauled. As soon as we had enough money, we would spend it on a holiday, family days out etc.
We eventually got the new kitchen after son had grown.

Memories of visiting places, beach holidays, meals out with family etc....usurp all memories of being surrounded by a shiny new kitchen.

I see families with kids, not only the ones I mentioned, who complain they never have enough money to spend leisure time with family, go on holiday etc.

But they do have two cars, latest technology for them and the kids, all mod cons.

I think it's difficult because not everyone can do this easily. For example we have absolutely no support system, no one who could even have our kids overnight so a holiday together just would never happen! I wish :)

Yes, it can be difficult when the kids are young.
I think the first holiday I had alone with my OH, was when child went on a weeks holiday with his school....it was heaven.

Life changes when you have kids.🙀

Of course not.
Work to live; not live to work.