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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Pregnant with second baby and splitting with partner

10 replies

Sue1991 · 12/01/2025 11:29

Hey,
First time doing this. I have a four year old son and I’m 9 weeks pregnant with our planned second baby. Father has started being really nasty to the point I’ve gone to stay with my parents with our son. I’m so frustrated and angry as this pregnancy was planned but he’s just turned. I want him out the house but he’s refusing to leave. I can’t believe I’m in this mess. Thinking about selling up and moving permanently back in with parents until I can find somewhere. Has anyone else been through this. I just can’t see a way forward as I’m sick of treading on eggshells.

thank you x

OP posts:
Hokem · 12/01/2025 15:40

Whose house is it legally?

Chaoticgarden · 12/01/2025 15:46

Not when pregnant but what I will say is don't give him more chances, just sell up and move on in your life. If your parents are happy to have you then just stay there, tell him you're selling and that's final and then use the money you get back from the house to fund a place of your own. You can also save if you're living at your parents. It won't be easy but it will be the best way of getting someone out of your life who would only make it a ton worse.

Sue1991 · 12/01/2025 17:52

Thank you x

OP posts:
Sue1991 · 12/01/2025 17:53

Legally, it’s all in my name but he’s always contributed and made improvements so saying he won’t go x

OP posts:
Chaoticgarden · 12/01/2025 17:56

Sue1991 · 12/01/2025 17:53

Legally, it’s all in my name but he’s always contributed and made improvements so saying he won’t go x

Tell him you'll get the police involved as it's not his house and that if he has a problem he can get a solicitor. It's not his house so he can't stay.

Hokem · 12/01/2025 18:53

Exactly. It's not his house and you aren't married. If he was officially paying rent with a contract he would have some rights.

This happens to unmarried women all of the time. The house is in their partners name and then they split an end up with nothing.

Chaoticgarden · 12/01/2025 18:59

Hokem · 12/01/2025 18:53

Exactly. It's not his house and you aren't married. If he was officially paying rent with a contract he would have some rights.

This happens to unmarried women all of the time. The house is in their partners name and then they split an end up with nothing.

Correct.

Have the locksmith out and change the locks. If he breaks in then he has committed an offence since he is not on the deeds, so let him try.

LittleBitAlexa · 12/01/2025 20:17

Yes- he has no rights here OP. Gather his stuff up and change the locks. Is he likely to be violent? How long have you lived together? Has he paid any rent?

Chaoticgarden · 12/01/2025 20:52

Even if he has paid rent and a solicitor deems that he has an "interest in the property" that doesn't give him the right to a property he legally has no current share in. The law is quite clear on this.

He can go to a solicitor and pay for them to bring a case against you stating that he has an active interest in the property for x amount, but that's about it. You have every legal right to change the locks on YOUR house and also tell him that if he continues to hover around the property you will get a non-molestation order in place, and if he breaches it he will be prosecuted.

I would do the following:

Get a solicitor to write to him and state that the locks are going to be changed, that he has no legal right to enter the property and that his things have been removed. That if there is anything missing from his items he is to contact them (the solicitor) and you will ensure the items are provided for him. He is not to contact you under any circumstances.

That if he has any issues with the situation he should instruct legal counsel, and that if he attempts to break into the property or refuses to leave, a non-molestation order will be sought and the police will be involved.

Hopefully that will work and he will understand you are serious.

Before the letter is sent, change the locks while he is not there. If he becomes violent, call the police immediately and inform them of the situation, have people there with you to ensure there is backup and install a camera doorbell as well.

I might seem ott but having been in a situation with someone where i had to threaten a non-molestation order, i understand how scary it is. I co-owned with my ex and he refused to leave and i couldn't get him out due to him being a joint owner, but I did refuse to pay the mortgage and threatened him with occupational rent and a non-mol if he continued to contact me and threaten me for refusing to pay. You can win this.

Sue1991 · 13/01/2025 20:25

Lived together 4 years. Yes I think he could be violent. Thanks for your help x

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