Really proud of my friend

[Nicecuppatea2025]

My friend kicked her deadbeat abusive awful bastard of a partner out last year. After 15 long years littered with the most awful experiences imaginable, she changed the locks.

He’s left her in massive debt and financially things are very difficult. But she’s working her arse off in a new job and is managing to look after their 3 kids and pay the bills. She’s also starting to come to terms with what happened to her and as time goes by I can see her standing taller.

She did it. A year on, her life is so much better and she is thinking of her future. She is free.

And the icing on the cake is that she is now helping another friend do the same.

Just so incredibly proud of her.

Edit: Does anyone else have similar stories?

It’s great to hear of someone who was able to get herself out of that kind of situation and is now thriving and helping others, maybe this post will encourage some other women in similar situations to do the same

There's hundreds and thousands I suspect in the same place
It needs to stop

I was with 2 DC's and I got through it. It actually isn't that unusual to have a deadbeat df to your DC's and stories of survival 👍

No similar story I'm happy to report but a massive well done to your friend. She not only got rid of him, but any financial ties she had with him. You should both celebrate x

Now I think about it, I know of 4 or 5 other women who have sorted their lives out and successfully kicked their partner/DH/cocklodger out..

Particularly proud of this one friend because the task seemed like an absolute mountain and he appeared to have all the power. He had total financial control, he didn’t allow her to work, alienated her, and the scale of the abuse - which we’re only really understanding now - was flabbergasting.

In the end she had just one conversation with the police asking for advice … and 12 hours later they dragged him out of the house.

She has sorted benefits, has found a few hours of work between school hours, is slowly unwinding the finances and rebuilding everything for her children. It’s so impressive. Everyone has been extremely helpful (especially and rather surprisingly, I might add, the mortgage lender).

He has no power over her any more.

Good luck to anyone going through the same xx

Just out of interest - and for people who are reading and are in a similar situation to the one your friend used to be in, wondering whether they will also one day do the same - what was it that gave your friend the tipping point motivation and empowerment to leave? What was the final straw? Or was it a slow burn effort of informing herself about what to do next and how to be ready to leave?

Great question. I can’t speak for her but from what I know…

There was no plan and she definitely did not have any ducks in a row!

The abuse had steadily escalated over a number of years. She kept it secret / down played it for a long time until the cracks started showing. Then one night last year they had a particularly frightening bust up in front of their kids. The next day she confided that she was afraid to go home, and allowed her friends to provide some support.

First stop was the police. The police listened to her, believed her and took him into custody. This bit wasn’t planned - she basically went in to the station to ask for their advice, the whole story tumbled out and the police took it out of her hands in the end. She then changed the locks.

From that point on she’s really thrown herself into sorting out all the boring bits - utilities, broadband, mortgage- plus getting her head round benefits, tackling debts, and finding a job. And juggling all that with two school and nursery runs every day. It has been far from easy but she and the kids are doing brilliantly.

Hope that helps.