I separated from xH 2 years ago and it’s not been an easy journey. (Controlling, emotionally abusive, ND - separate issue to that obviously but has impacted some of his behaviour) but I can’t believe I am where I am.
Thank you so much to all of you that posted on my threads (under different user names) and to mn in general. In the 16 years I’ve been on mn I read and posted bits and bobs about xH and very slowly came to see that he was emotionally abusive and yes, I did have the option to leave. It was a gradual process.
I hugely appreciate the calls of LTB which I dismissed initially, and we all know it is more nuanced than that especially with kids to consider.
But in my case it was 100% the right thing to do.
Mumsnet, along with friends, were hugely influential and significant in getting me to first see what the issue was and face up to the fact that I wanted to leave (that was one of the hardest stages as then I felt stuck). And then the support leading up to it and in the immediate aftermath was amazing. So many people with similar stories.
as is often the case, once I told him I wanted to separate, the controlling behaviour stepped up massively as he struggled to accept it, since I’d never gone against him before.
I nearly faltered, but I made it out,
then of course the divorce and financial negotiations were another horrible stage but at least once I moved out with the children I didn’t have to have that knot in my stomach daily (only when he messaged or I saw him!)
Thank you to all of you who take time to share your experiences and give thought out and insightful posts on peoples threads. You’re all amazing ❤️