Can’t seem to escape the abuse

[Mybadcat]

the father of my child constantly verbally abuses me I can’t seem to cut him off. He works away Monday to Friday and then comes back at the weekends and I have to hide away all weekend. It’s been like this for 13 years. I’m terrified of my son growing up in a broken home so hide it. I feel weak and pathetic. I need him off the mortgage and bills but am so scared he’ll blow up in front of our child and I’ll have to call the police again.
he called me a fat useless mother today and said I should die.

I’m sorry I don’t have much of an answer but is there any chance you can secretly record him

I’ve done that multiple recordings
I know I sound stupid I just don’t know where to start

This is hard, does he shout at your son too?
You know yourself what you need to do, but it's not always that simple.

Don't live a life scared, he is the one with issues and don't get him gaslight you

No never
everyone else thinks he’s amazing and charming

I would start by speaking to a domestic abuse organisation. You can contact your local domestic abuse organisation by typing ' Domestic Abuse help' + your area.

They will assess your situation for safety and help you with a safety plan. Leaving an abusive relationship is when you're most vulnerable and you need do it as safely as possible.

You can check out wikivorce and the citizens advice website for information on divorce. Rights of Women can give you free legal advice.

Firstly OP sending love, you are stronger than you know! You just need some help for the sake of you and your child, a single parent household isn't 'failing' at all.

It might be worth looking for your local women's aid center https://www.womensaid.org.uk/womens-aid-directory/

There's also refuge phone line 08082000247free and open 24/7

Anything financial abuse https://survivingeconomicabuse.org/what-we-do/financial-support-line/

if you're Black, racialised or a specific ethnicity look for help here https://www.imkaan.org.uk/get-help

All of these places can help you get further support and planning an escape strategy.

Shouting and name calling is abuse, if your son sees or hears this is upsetting for them even if they hide it and are still in awe if their father.

Of course others see them as wonderful, that's what they do.
He must have low self esteem if then tries to bring you down by these hurtful comments.

Are you in a relationship together? Or does he just come back to see his son every weekend

Put money aside, divorce him, anchor yourself to his finances and leave.

A man like this is dangerous.