Had a huuuge argument with "friend" last night, and i had to walk off, i dont want her tobe a friend any more..

[allgonebellyup]

Just wondering if you think i am in the wrong?
Met up with her last night (lets call her Mary)and one of my other friends (who i am a lot closer to), lets call her Rachel.

Myself and the Rachel were talking away in our usual style, being a little bit crude/funny but having a good time.
Both my friends are 35 and i am nearly 29.
Mary continued to sit there and tut at us, and put down every idea or suggestion that i had, ie i want to do teacher training, and me and Rachel love to go out a lot as our kids go away at the weekends..she kept saying "you cant do all that, you are too old. You just want to act like youre 18 all the time".
Then my friend Rachel went outside for a smoke, and Mary laid into me, saying "you're always putting on an act with other people. You are always trying to be younger than you are, and at your age you shouldnt be going out all the time.Stop trying to be something you're not."
so i walked off.
We havent spoken since.

In this case, I think the word bitter is justified (and you should all know by now that I hate that word generally). She is stewing in her own festering juice and giving every body else a taste who neither wants or needs it.

She did text me this morning to say she didnt know what she had done wrong, and that it was right of her to tell me "a few home truths" (ie I'm too old at 28 to go out and have fun, and that i act like im 18 all the time)

i text her back saying "im sorry you dont like to have fun but i think you are depressed and need some help, instead of bringing other people down. Take care."

too harsh???

You did right.

28 too old?????

I'm over 50 and probably act about 18 on a girly night out. It called having fun.

No, not too harsh, because if she doesn't know what she's done wrong and won't even take on board that she might have done something wrong she deserves to be dropped.

She knows very well she's done something wrong. I am tempted to say 'stupid cow', but I won't, and you will all see how non-judgemental I am

My text to her would be "It's not a 'home truth' it's your opinion, and while you're entitled to it, I happen to not agree with it, or even care that you think it."

I'd probably add that unasked for opinions are actually called sticking your nose where it's not wanted, and if you ever want her opinion, you'll give it to her.

But I can be a tad hotheaded

Oh dear. Mary sounds very unhappy indeed. She may be clinically depressed, or she may just be a bit of a fucker.

I'd gently elaborate on the text, and make sure I see less of her if it turns out she is a bit of a fucker.

I once had a friend that I had to dump because she was an emotional drain - all take, no give. She once asked me to help her move flats 2 days after a miscarraige! If you feel you've given Mary a fair chance, then you might have to try to shake her off, hard though that might seem.

pmsl at "may be a bit of a fucker"