I've been friends with a man for 3 years whom I met through a mutual hobby. He's 46 and I'm 40 soon. I really liked him when we first met but he only wanted to be friends. He's never had a proper relationship - first major red flag, I know. He still lives with his mum, although he's house shared previously in his 20's.
I got over him eventually but maintained my friendship with him and we were really good friends. He's always been there for me, just kept me at arms length. We had lunches out, trips to the cinema, walks and nights in watching films. He was a good friend but very emotionally flat. He doesn't appear autistic but has a very avoidant attachment style. He comes from a big family and his siblings have got families of their own. He is the eldest. Parent's relationship broke down when he was in his mid teens.
I've had an awful previous 2 years and he knows this. Then one night back in November he suddenly kisses me. He's always hot and cold anyway and when we first met he chased me and then backed off once he realised I liked him.
I really struggled to get my feelings back but once I did he broke it off saying he doesn't know whether he likes me enough to continue. We'd slept together numerous times ... he couldn't wait to get me into bed at first.
I said I don't know whether our friendship could survive this. To break it off so soon when nothing negative happened. He seemed to really regret what he'd done and chased me all through the following week. We fell back into things over Christmas and he's just suddenly dumped me again saying the same thing again. He needs help and he knows this. He's self confessed idiot and knows he's messed up.
I'm just so, so, so hurt and angry and I'm going to go no contact now. I was his only friend, too and now he's lost me and I've lost him. I can't believe the disrespect.
Sorry, just wanted to rant.