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Relationships

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Left when pregnant

4 replies

ERM192224 · 08/01/2025 14:55

I'm just looking for other experiences please. My husband left after an argument in Spring 24 when I was pregnant. It's now quite clear the marriage is over after alot of indecisiveness on his part. I always wanted to work to reconciliation but he doesn't but will always add he doesn't 'at the moment' or tell me I'm not changing, if I ask what he needs to change he will say he's told me or I'm not listening and use that instead of actually telling me what he needs, just excuses I think! Anyway that's another tale.

I had been repeatedly verbally abused for months and I snapped verbally back in said argument above, the one and only time I've responded angrily, he left. There has since been more gaslighting and emotional abuse etc even though these things are all spun around and I'm blamed for them, I've pretty much been blamed for most things all whilst pregnant. I see that now after months of scrambling trying to 'fix myself'. He says he isn't in love with me also, but loves me.
I'm just wondering if anyone else has been left in similar circumstances and how you're doing on the other side as I still feel in the midst of it and I'm not ready to divorce yet, the thought is quite scary. I feel I'm still processing everything and raising 3 young children so not really got that far in my head I'm so busy and frazzled! Still only afew months post partum and on mat leave. Any experiences in similar situations or just general advice welcome. X

OP posts:
Sugarcoldturkey · 08/01/2025 16:45

No advice but sorry for what you're going through. Congratulations on your baby

Nextyearhopes · 08/01/2025 16:52

My mum. My ‘father’ buggered off when she was 3 months pregnant with me.
It was tough. She had to retrain. Put in long long hours. Work every hour God gave her to put food on the table. No time for self indulgence.
But she (and we) got through. She taught me good morals, good work ethic, and that if there is love and common sense you are half way there already.

You’ve got this OP

ERM192224 · 08/01/2025 18:02

Thank you for your input. I'm coming out the other side but it's been a really rocky road. Like I say divorce is terrifying but I'm trying not to pressure myself before I'm ready. Can't stay married if the other doesn't want to be with you or if you've been treated terribly

OP posts:
Pumpkinpie1 · 09/01/2025 01:44

He sounds awful.
Stay strong , take one day at a time, and don’t let him back into your lives.
x

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