Is a ‘lukewarm’ love enough?

[Accydoo]

Please be gentle as I’m really trying to work out what to do.
im in a relationship with a man for around a year, he has lovely and kind and committed and I do love him and have an attachment to him. we also want the same things for the future. But I don’t feel like he is a great love of mine?
I have had other relationships and a marriage that have ended over my lifeline and I’ve known a real true great love more than once.and I don’t mean in a toxic crazy trauma bonded kind of way in that u look for drama and anything else is boring. I just mean in a genuine feeling in my heart and soul, I have felt more for others.
so im wondering if I am settling or not, I guess in a way I feel I am. Is this kinda lukewarm love enough? I would say my boyfriend definitely seems to have a great love for me.

A year in, I understand that you're asking yourself these questions.
Love isn't a list of boxes you can check. Sometimes despite wanting to love someone, it just doesn't happen. It's not your fault, nor is it his.
I'd set him free so he can potentially be someone elses big love.

Thank you. He does tick a lot of boxes but I can’t help but think this might not be it for me

Don't settle. It won't last

That’s what I’m thinking…

Everyone is different, but it wouldn't be for me.

Don't settle. I feel I did and am now divorcing this year. 😔

Everyone that I know IRL who ‘settled’ are now separated and wish they had had the courage to leave earlier. You’re a smart cookie, you’ve very well articulated your situation, I think setting him free so that you can both find deeper connections with other people is the right way to go. My friends still talk about a guy I dated about 15 years ago - they call him Nice Paul - and they were so sad when we broke up. Because he was nice. But that was it. I’ve never regretted it for a second and I can imagine that were we still together that life would be… nice… but that would be it. And it’s not enough for me - I don’t want beige, I want technicolour, I’ve had it before and had it since. Good luck.

I think life’s too short to just settle. I have a couple of friends who’ve said this - they’re still with their partners. They have nice enough lives, they go on nice holidays. They get along alright. Their sex lives are (as they admit) pretty much non existent- once or twice a year. No fireworks at all, just a few pumps and done. When I see them with their partners I don’t see joy, no sparkle in their eyes. Now I know everyday life isn’t always moonbeams dancing from eyes, but the ‘just nice, and a nice time, and nice holidays’ wouldn’t be fulfilling for me.

You could both be someone else’s Big Love, so I’d be tempted to split before the sunk cost fallacy takes place.