Over friendly friend

[fernintothewild]

Hi all so it’s a been a couple of weeks now Me and my partner of 16year got married recently and one of my friends was invited to the day and wanted to know anyone single at the wedding, fast forward to now and I don’t trust them for past behaviour I know of theres is abit of a player but as the wedding past you get people add you on socials which is fine but every post they been liking of my partners.
and me being curious i know that my partner has posted about this on here and it’s abit strange to what’s been said and I know I might be looking too far into it but I do not trust my friend at all and know they can have bad intentions without thinking

I can’t understand any of that I’m afraid.

I don't understand what has happened

So what if she's overfriendly, worry about your husband's behaviour

So your friend is a bit of a player?

Are you afraid that your friend is (romantically) interested in your husband, or (romantically) interested in one of your other friends?

How long have you known your friend?

This

You think your friend is showing too much interest in your new spouse, is that right?

Time to make them an ex-friend then.

@slightlydistrac yes but my partner has posted on here about someone being friendly and that my partner doesn't k ie how to take it as flirting or just chat but seems both of them are acting out of order that my partner is liking the behaviour and it seems they are messaging over posts/story then chat but I e tried to see but partner has been very secretive with there phone , where I'm open with mine and they know my password and can go on it

I'm still not getting this.
Can you explain clearly with some punctuation please Op? I'm not being mean but it's so difficult to understand what you are trying to ask.

@Bbq1 of course sorry

So my partner and my friend never use to talk or have each other on socials but now they are my friend is posting / putting stories up and like wise with my partner is and they keep liking or loving the posts.
my partner said on here as they have a account that when they message back to keep the convo going after a love to the post and it's like they are flirting and my partner doesn't know if there is it deeper that just friends

Sorry probably doesn't make sense but my friend doesn't know that I know about this and I just can't trust them anymore

Oh come on it’s perfectly easy to understand.

OP, I’m sorry these things are happening but your partner seems to be playing along with all of this, it doesn’t seem to be one sided. Unfortunately if someone’s head has been turned, that’s on them. Have an honest chat and say you’re not prepared to be treated like this, and get them to talk about it.

It's not difficult at all. It's not rocket science.

Ditch them both. They’re disloyal and disrespectful. Let them have each other.

So your husband and friend have been liking each others posts on facebook?

Seems your friend is definitely flirting. And it seems your partner is enjoying it.

Can you confront your partner and say it's disrespectful and you rather they didn't comment on everything?

You “being curious” have discovered your spouse has been asking for advice on here about your friend flirting with them and not sure how to take it?
Your behaviour and theirs doesn’t sound mature enough to be married.

FYI to PPs - mocking someone's spelling or grammar, especially if you're claiming you can't understand what has been written, makes you look insecure and unintelligent. Work on your comprehension skills. If a post is beyond your reading ability you don't have to comment.

OP, so one of your friends added your partner on social media after your recent wedding, and she's been overfamiliar in a way that's making you uncomfortable. You don't trust her because of her past behaviour.
Your partner has posted on here for advice as he wasn't sure if she was being inappropriate or just friendly, but despite this it seems he's enjoying the attention, is continuing to engage with her, and has become secretive with his devices.

First, check with yourself that he has actually become more secretive; as you're feeling rattled by this you're more likely to pay attention to his behaviour and it's possible he might not have changed anything.
I'd suggest that if your partner isn't sure if she's being friendly or flirting, he'd be wise to stop communicating, or reduce the communication to the bare minimum. Popping a 'like' (not a heart) on something if she tags him would be enough to avoid being rude on the off chance she's just being friendly, and he shouldn't be starting or trying to continue conversations if he has doubts about her intentions.
As he's openly said he's not sure whether she's being inappropriate or not, it's up to him to make sure that his behaviour is appropriate.

How did you know that your husband had posted on MN? Did he tell you?
I think liking social media posts isn't a redflag generally.
Can you post the link to your husband's thread?

What do you want to happen? Do you want her to stop? You can't make her. Do you want your DH to block her? You could ask him.

Hi all,
Just making an appearance to say that we're somewhat surprised at the reception that this OP received. Mumsnet is here to provide peer support, not spelling and grammar feedback. If people are struggling to understand a post, we can think of kindlier ways to look for assistance.

THANK YOU!!!

We could do with more ‘official’ comments like this please.

For a site which is basically to help people/parents/childfree/children/anyone else, there is a lot of sarcasm, sharpness, unkindness and similar.

Some threads are written in a style that invites sarcasm and wit. That’s fine. Other threads are started in a way that is clear someone is after some help and kind words. If you don’t feel like being kind, just move on. Many many times I’m not in the mood so I just choose another post to reply to.

And the continued pomposity shown in many parts of this site, ‘’why on earth would you suggest such and such when the OP had repeatedly stated blah blah’ etc, just why?

Yes we know, not everyone is highly educated with a full understanding of spelling and grammar, so what? If you can’t decipher meaning, maybe it’s you that needs to be re-educated?