I have been with my partner a few years now. He proposed after a year and moved into my home. We split the bills and keep the remainder of our wages that is left as we earn around the same. We recently decided to each sell our cars and get a newer one to share as I work from home and he has a company van. It was agreed we would split the bills for said car.
A few months in and I’m still paying the AA, insurance, the car cleaning and majority of the fuel. Needed a repair on a tyre which only cost a small amount but I paid. He just looks around waiting for me to pay. The money from my car went on Christmas presents and things to improve the home. He sat back and accepted thanks from the family for the gifts despite not contributing a penny. I gritted my teeth yet again!
we have a shopping pot to which we put £200 each into. We have been spending £100 a week. On a 5 week month I am paying the extra. If a bill goes up I’m covering it as it’s going out of my account. The energy bill is coming in £60 over what we agreed, I’m paying the extra. He just seems to ignore this fact.
we both work hard but I cook every day (he doesn’t know how to cook despite living by himself previously). He comes home, hovers around waiting for dinner to be dished up, woofs his meal down (despite having twice my portion he’s still done first and literally just swallows his food), loads the dishwasher whilst I’m still eating and this puts me off finishing my food. He then scurries off to the lounge where he stays till bedtime.
We sleep apart as he snores excessively and in the end had to have a CPAP machine which he hates but I need to sleep too in order to function. He’s continued to sleep in the spare room even though I haven’t said he can’t sleep in our room.
he didn’t snore this bad when he moved in but he’s put on weight and I think this is a cause of the issue. I tried talking to him about his weight and he just got angry. He’s now 3xl in clothes and his attitude is well this is just me now!
Our sex life is none existent and again his weight I think has impacted on this as he struggle to keep an erection. This then puts me off and I don’t really show an interest anymore.
All of the above is making me question if I want to be in this relationship any more. I want an equal not someone I have to always take care of. I’m not in the best of health myself and it would be nice for me to be considered and always have to be the problem solver.
sorry for the long post. I just needed to get it off my chest and get opinions. I’m at a loss of how to even start to raise these issues.