I’ve been with my partner for nearly 3 years. I have a teenage child from a previous relationship. Our first year together was a romantic whirlwind and he seemed such a nice guy. He also kept telling me he was a nice guy. Which was such a relief from my previous partner who was controlling and mentally abusive.
Shortly after a year together he said he wanted a baby with me and we began trying and a year ago I gave birth to our child. However, while I was pregnant, he changed. He became argumentative and very short tempered, which only worsened after the birth of our child, he’s called me things like a b*h and a c**t. I try to remove myself from the situation, but it constantly feels like I’m walking on eggshells trying not to set him off.
Throughout my pregnancy and after the birth of our child, I was questioning the relationship, but then found out I was pregnant again. I’m due in two months. Since the first pregnancy, our love life is practically non existent, there was a one off encounter, so this pregnancy has been a shock. His moods have not gotten better, the littlest things set him off, such as the baby crying, which he blames on me (our baby is amazing, and literally only cries for the usual things, dirty nappy, wanting his bottle or tired).
After my last partner I can’t cope with confrontation, so try to walk away when he’s in a mood, I spent most nights crying myself to sleep. I’ve tried to bring up how I’m feeling, but he gets defensive and shouts at me.
My family were very disappointed with me after the relationship with my previous partner broke down and frowned on me being a single mum. I know if I walk away from this relationship, I will really let them down, which I don’t want to do. They are all I have. My previous partner isolated me from my friends, so I really don’t have anyone else.
We have a house together, and financially I don’t know how I can afford to support myself and 3 children. I do work, but not on great pay that would cover 4 people. I know there are welfare benefits, but those are restricted.
My partner seems so nice to everyone else, I just don’t understand why he takes everything out on me. He’s just such a different person now to the one I thought I met and loved.
i don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be a single mum again. I don’t want to let my family down. I don’t want to uproot my eldest child again, who has settled into our new house and bonded with my partner (his father has not kept in touch with him after our breakup and has a new life). I also don’t want to feel miserable all the time.