Boyfriends Behaviour

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Been struggling with what I think might be PGP the last few weeks, it’s not so much the pain that is super difficult to deal with, it’s the past trauma that it triggers that I find hardest. Things have been stressful lately so I don’t know if I’m overreacting but my boyfriend’s behaviour just bothers me. He’s always been quick to anger but rarely towards me, I can usually keep him fairly calm but with the extra stress that’s been harder. I swear he thinks outbursts of anger and/or sex are the answer to everything. He’s also miffed that we won’t be able to have sex for a while after baby is born so he wants it even more now! Sometimes I’ll say no or try push him off but he’s relentless and sometimes I’ll tell him it hurts please stop, he might stop temporarily but then carries on. The other night afterwards he rolled over and said “my bad, you only asked me to stop like 6 times”. A few weeks ago he agreed he needed to work on anger management too but I don’t know I just don’t feel great around him at times, or supported/reassured. Just had birth plan and they asked who I wanted my birth partner to be and it took every ounce of me not to just say my mum. Am I overreacting?

He’s raping you. I am so sorry.

What are you going to do?

Get the hell away from him, asap.

Just one 'no' means that any persistence is rape. Eerything you say about him and the way he makes you feel are 100% red flags. If he is the baby's father then you need to think long and hard whether you want someone like that involved in your baby's life.

This is so awful, OP. He is raping you, his pregnant partner. Even when you are telling him you’re in pain from PGP. What a despicable man. I would end the relationship right now - things tend to only get worse when the baby arrives, with abusive men. Your Mum should deffo be your birth partner.

Sending hugs. Xx

He can likely control himself around other people so he does not have an anger management problem. Also am courses are no answer to domestic abuse and raping you. This relationship should now end.

Your child should have your surname and not his. I would also carefully consider if you want to name him on the birth certificate, I would not name him on any such document but seek further help and support from Women’s Aid. Name your mother or get a doula as your birth partner to the medical staff, tell them you are being abused because this thrives on secrecy.

He is a disgusting rapist OP

This is awful to read. You said no and he carries on. You must walk on eggshells every day too, to manage his anger.

You must leave him. Definitely have your mum as birthing partner. Can you live with your mum?

He's raping you. Contact Rape Crisis for help and support. Have your mum at the birth.

It's not your responsibility to try and control his anger.
I'm really sorry you are going through this, you need help and support towards your next steps to take in regards to this man.
Please do call Women's Aid, or the National Domestic Abuse line.

Tell your mum what he is doing to you

This man is a rapist, it even worse, he rapes his pregnant parther. 😡
It won't get better, the abuse will only get worse.
His problem is not anger, it's an extreme sense of entitlement. He uses expressing anger to control you. It is a myth that abusers have uncontrollable anger. They control it with others. It's a tool they deliberately use to dominate you. This is unequivocally an abusive relationship. Run!

He's a rapist and had serious anger issues.

You need to leave this man before your baby is born. A child is not safe around a man such as your boyfriend. Angry men and tiny wailing babies are a receipe for disaster.

Go to your mums and tell her the truth of what is happening to you. When your baby is born do not put this man on the birth certificate

It really is that serious. There is no saving this relationship. You and your baby are in danger from this man.

This.

I'm so sorry, op.

He doesn't have your back, he won't protect you. He is raping you.

Tell your mum, tell your midwives. Could you tell the police?

Please talk to your mum. It sounds like you are close, she will help you. So sorry you are in this situation, it's awful.