Help me leave

[worriergirl]

Hi ,

I'm in a relationship and have a baby with a man who

• goes in a mood when I plan time with my friends .
• spams me when I go out with friends to make sure I am with no boys
• makes me have my location on for him
• takes me bad when I say I want lip filler
• will not approve me of me going on holidays with friends (not even hen party's)
• goes on my phone regularly and checks my social media for check for cheating? (I never have cheated)
• I'm not allowed male friends (not even on social media)
• is always passive aggressive about things.
• when I started going to the gym he stated only weirdos go to the gym
• a man wolf whistled at me once (I had no idea who he was) dp wouldn't speak to me and accused me of knowing him despite me swearing I didn't know him.
• will constantly bring up my past with men (way before him) and get annoyed.

I feel a bit trapped really. I've broke up with him before but I find it hard to stay stuck. I'm fed up and I miss my friends.

Worst of it all I'm only 21.

Any advice :(

I know I have a lot of support around me reg this. It's just building the courage for me to walk away especially with a baby.

You certainly need to leave as he’s a nasty person, though lip fillers are awful so agreeing that point only. Do you live with him and whose place is it? Are you married?

You need to show this thread to the people who support you, so they can help you escape.

I know not everyone's a fan of lip filler : )

I only wanted a little bit as I have really small lips lol.

We don't live together but have been planning to move in together soon.
I worry how much worse it would only get.

It just hurts because I really love him. There's so much more to say about him. He's a compulsive liar and has loads of problems. Also threatens suicide every time I try to leave.

OP - lip fillers are fine if that's what YOU want and I'm not sure why PP mentioned it.

He's a controlling, horrible prick and he's only going to get worse.

Do you have family you can confide in?

I think the hardest part is trying to leave and then he threatens suicide. I have extreme anxiety so I think what if he actually done it?

He won't love. It's just a ploy to keep you under his control, it's common for bullies like him to use suicide as a way to get you to stay.

You're also not leaving him. You're moving on with your life, away from a bully, to ensure that your baby has the best life possible. A child will not flourish if their mum is being controlled by a man like this. You'd be protecting your baby.

Well the great thing is you don’t live with him which makes things easier. Have you got your own place? Whenever you choose to tell him it’s over make sure he hasn’t got a key, or get the locks changed.

Who have you got supporting you? Parents, siblings?

Think how peaceful your life will be once you get rid of him! You’re probably constantly walking on eggshells at the moment.

Also think of the baby if it's a girl she'll grow up thinking it's OK for her partners to treat her like that if a boy he will become like him.

That's the thought that got me leaving my abusive ex

You have to leave. It may be tough for a while, but it’ll be much tougher the longer this goes on. You will become increasingly trapped if you move in together and have to watch with sadness your child grow up in such a toxic atmosphere. Ignore the suicide warnings. They are typical BS tricks pathetic men like this play.

@namechangeGOT I expect pp mentioned it because OP mentioned it.
Tbh OP's partner disliking lip filler is the only reasonable part of his behaviour.

You don’t live with him so break it off. Contact women’s aid. He doesn’t give two shits about you so sort yourself out so you love someone who puts you first.

That's just a method to control you.

A man did this to me once, threated to off himself wah, wah, wah and funnily enough the moment I got the police and emergency services involved he was all spry and perfectly fine. He was shamed into never doing it again, especially as the police had a hard word with him about his abusive tactics. They see through that kind of bullshit in an instant.

Do not let him move in!

It'll get a thousand times worse.

Break it off, change your locks and either have someone stay with your for a while or go and stay with someone for a week or two.

Oh and if he turns up banging on your door just call the police. Don't hesitate to use them when necessary.

Let him do it, he sounds evil.

Make a plan to leave. Tell your family and friends the truth of what it’s been like. Plan where to go. Pack all essentials. Stay strong and block all contact. He will try emotional blackmail. He may get angry and be threatening. Be prepared for this. Surround yourself with friends and family. Keep busy to not dwell or to let regret seep in. It is right for your and your baby to leave this abusive situation. Once it’s done and you’ve maintained the split, you won’t regret it.
you deserve better.