Cheated but didn’t want too

[Tracy20009]

Has anyone ever cheated on their partner despite not actually wanting to or am i alone in this. Myself and DH were going through a rough time, barley talking and often sleeping separate. An old school friend of mine reached out and what was initially harmless chit chat turned into him asking me personal question, you could say I was vulnerable and over shared a few of my problems he used this to his advantage and would accuse my DH of cheating etc. one night I had a huge row and this person convinced me to go see him, we ended up kissing and I left. But for weeks he would message me and remind me of what we’d done and pressure to see me. I couldn’t shake him off and stupidly agreed to see him again to try keep him happy and you could say silent! On this occasion he was so Pursuant and coercive I found myself sleeping with him despite not wanting to because the alternative scared me. Does anyone understand or am I just disgusting person?

Were you coerced into sex/raped?

@Tracy20009 you are describing rape my lovely.

You were made to feel saying no was not an option.

Confiding in this person may not have been the smartest choice but that does nit mean you are to blame for being raped.

If you feel able you need to talk to someone IRL. Do you have someone?

I agreed to it though. I asked him to stop half way through and he did.

You were coerced into agreeing to sleep with him. That’s still rape. Sorry that happened to you

From your OP you agreed because you were scared of the consequences of saying no.

That is still rape my lovely.

As a rape survivor I absolutely understand how hard it is to make the first step of accepting this and that you are absolutely not to blame. I also understand that reporting in these circumstances is hard and nit guaranteed to be successful. I chose not to report and even 20 odd years later I stand by that decision. But you should talk to someone you trust.

I would also recommend getting an STI test for your own peace of mind.

Be kind to yourself. You are nit to blame for someone bullying you into having sex

Have pretty much been in the exact same situation.
Dont beat yourself up. Move on

You need to get far away from this man. You are vulnerable and in a difficult relationship of your own- no you shouldn’t have been messaging or gone to visit him, but neither of these things detract from what this sexual encounter was- coercive. Men don’t understand that rape doesn’t have to be violent, and as he stopped when you asked I’m sure he doesn’t align himself as a rapist either- but the simply fact is he emotionally wore you down and coerced you into an interaction you didn’t want.

block him and move on.

I would consider that coercion and possibly rape BUT not everyone else might.
At the very least you need to never see or speak to him again

I never thought I would ever cheat on my partner, but when he goes 3 1/2 years without sex, you kind of become vulnerable. I didn’t plan on it happening, but I ended up getting lured in by my sister-in-laws friend. I really didn’t want to cheat but it ended up being the best experience I’ve ever had

You should have kept well away from him. Live and learn.