Lie detector test

Azertyuio123 · 05/01/2025 05:24

Sounds like the rubbish has already taken itself out! Quite rightly you have refused to take the lie detector test. His request is not normal in a relationship, and you know that. Good luck getting through this hard time and moving forward without him.

Whyamisopathetic · 05/01/2025 05:27

Sounds more like he was done with the relationship and projected this onto you, making you the reason for the split.

Seems really weird he would come up with this. There has to be more to this surely???

Original poster

OneRoseLeader · 05/01/2025 05:43

No there really isn't. This has happened a few times now we're he has accused me of looking at another men . I have not and why would I do it in front of him . He knows I love him and knows I've not cheated but thinks I give men the eye. He is a bit obsessed with me . I really don't no want to do.

OP posts:

zeibesaffron · 05/01/2025 05:51

OneRoseLeader · 05/01/2025 05:43

No there really isn't. This has happened a few times now we're he has accused me of looking at another men . I have not and why would I do it in front of him . He knows I love him and knows I've not cheated but thinks I give men the eye. He is a bit obsessed with me . I really don't no want to do.

You do nothing! you let this controlling idiot leave!!
What a ridiculous man, I wouldn’t tolerate any of this shit - how dare he, you have given him no reason to doubt you, and yet he wants you to take an unreliable test as some sort of proof. Do not back down on this!

romdowa · 05/01/2025 05:53

Tell him Jeremy has retired.

Jolietta · 05/01/2025 05:57

Let the douche bag keep on walking away from you.

Making wild accusations and demanding lie detector tests usually comes from a place as portraying you as being evil and then as being a victim when in fact it's masking the fact that they are the cheater!

You don't have 22 years of being in a living healthy relationship. You have 22 years of being deluded.

Gabitule · 05/01/2025 05:58

Sorry OP, did you say that you’ve been in a ‘’loving, healthy relationship’’? But he’s left you for refusing to take a lie detector test to ‘establish’ if you’ve been flirting with other men??

he doesn’t sound like the kind of man who is capable of having healthy relationships. Good riddance to him

Lurkingandlearning · 05/01/2025 06:12

He’s all the things previous posters have said and an idiot. Don’t try to get him to return.

Would a lie detector even be capable of revealing your thoughts and feelings when you look at people? He is so far into controlling you he doesn’t even care how bat shit stupid he sounds

rainbowstardrops · 05/01/2025 06:22

He's prepared to walk away from a 22 year relationship because he doesn't like the way you look at men?
I'd be wondering if he's the one doing the cheating.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 05/01/2025 06:30

I'd say this is just an excuse to get out of the relationship himself OP.

AgentJohnson · 05/01/2025 07:30

The type of behaviour this man was displaying was neither loving or healthy. I suspect there was a lot more controlling behaviour which you probably had difficulty identifying as abusive because of your attachment to him.

22 years is a long time and you will have to mourn what you had and what you thought you had. You did nothing wrong. the coward had some serious issues an what he doesn’t realise is that he has done you the massive favour by walking away.

CouldItBeAnyMoreObvious · 05/01/2025 07:47

OneRoseLeader · 05/01/2025 05:20

Hi I'm new to this and im normally very private but I don't know what to do.
Here goes.....
I've been in a loving health relationship for 22 years and have 3 kids together. My partner wants me to do a lie detector test to prove I haven't flirted with anyone. He says I give men (the eye) his words. I have never cheated on him andI have been a loyal loving partner to him for 22 years. I don't think I should do one. so he has walked away for the relationship. Yes i admit I'm a friendly person and chat to people but that doesn't mean I'm a cheat . I'm devastated but I'm really not doing a lie detector test to prove iv not give someone the eye it is pathetic. What should I do

You sgould run for the hills, now.
Do not stay with this controlling creep.
Besides, such tests are crap, despite tv programmes having us believe they are accurate. In the uk, the results (if one were to be done)) would be inadmissible at court.

GreenSkyes · 05/01/2025 07:56

Op, let him go.
This is totally not normal and extremely unhealthy. He's got excessive over flirting and looking and wants you to do a lie detector test to prove you didn't.
He could be projecting, as he's been unfaithful or flirty.
Please consider what is the best move for you, him going will likely be it. I'd guess DP has been controlling in other ways over the 22 years, some ways are subtle.

InkHeart2024 · 05/01/2025 08:00

How do you say this is a healthy relationship? It's not.

Coffeesnob11 · 05/01/2025 08:17

Accusing you of flirting/cheating is usually part of a pattern of abuse. Even if it isn't I would get some counselling for yourself. It doesn't matter what he or anyone else thinks, you know the truth.
My ex, during lockdown accused me of sleeping with random men when I went on my daily hour walk with my 2 year old! My route was on Strava. In his case his brain was addled with drink but even so.
In reality even if you took a lie detector test he would come up with something else. He has left for a reason which is nothing to do with you. Be kind to yourself.

category12 · 05/01/2025 08:20

No, of course you shouldn't do a lie detector test.

They're unreliable so it won't solve anything.

If you get any "inconclusive"s, you'll spend your life trying to explain them, and you won't ever be able to, to his satisfaction.

If you "pass", guaranteed he'll want you to do another or the goalposts will move to something else.

This is because his jealousy and possessiveness is not rational. It won't be cured by jumping through hoops to prove yourself.

The problem lies with him, he needs to resolve it within himself, not try to police and control you. If he's mentally ill, he needs to seek help.

Derogations · 05/01/2025 08:21

Please get some therapy. Dealing with someone who has this level of jealousy and control over you will be destroying your self confidence.

He is a terrible man and his behaviour towards you is destructive.

Winterskyfall · 05/01/2025 08:23

He sounds like a crazy person. I'm sure this can't be the only weird controlling behaviour he exhibits. Sounds like you are better off without him.

Atissues · 05/01/2025 08:25

Judging you by his standards?

DaisyChain505 · 05/01/2025 08:27

This isn’t loving or healthy in any way at all.

ChalkyHiker · 05/01/2025 08:51

Atissues · 05/01/2025 08:25

Judging you by his standards?

Bingo!

MrTiddlesTheCat · 05/01/2025 09:07

Yep, he thinks you're doing what he knows he's been doing. Get him to do one first. (Not really, they're entirely pointless)

FelixtheAardvark · 05/01/2025 10:31

OneRoseLeader · 05/01/2025 05:20

Hi I'm new to this and im normally very private but I don't know what to do.
Here goes.....
I've been in a loving health relationship for 22 years and have 3 kids together. My partner wants me to do a lie detector test to prove I haven't flirted with anyone. He says I give men (the eye) his words. I have never cheated on him andI have been a loyal loving partner to him for 22 years. I don't think I should do one. so he has walked away for the relationship. Yes i admit I'm a friendly person and chat to people but that doesn't mean I'm a cheat . I'm devastated but I'm really not doing a lie detector test to prove iv not give someone the eye it is pathetic. What should I do

Forget about this paranoid little man and move on.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 05/01/2025 10:36

This was never a loving and or healthy relationship but a controlling one. Ask yourself why you ever thought this was a loving healthy relationship.

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?. Did your father treat your mother similarly?.

Over the years he has further ramped up the power and control against you, he started his own private based war with you.

He wanted to keep you in a cage of his own paranoid making hence all his comments about him wanting you to do a lie detector test and you supposedly giving men the eye. The trash has indeed taken itself out.

Do not take him back under any circumstances. Read Why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft because this bloke is in those pages.