Have I fucked up?

[ForAquaDuck]

Ladies I really need your help and advice. I'll admit I'm a man, but I need a woman's word here so thank you for understanding. I don't think posting on dad's net will give me what I'm looking for.

Long story short:

Was recommended to date someone. We both seen each others social media profiles and pics and fancied each other. We agreed to move things forward and get to know each other.

But admittedly I was bit nosey to find out their career salary etc. Took to an online forum to find out and someone in the comments sent it to their account on social media. Correct me if I'm wrong I just wanted to know if we'd be a match in terms of finances but some ppl thought I was being a stalker.

There was some other embarrassing and personal stuff on my posts which now they've probably already seen. Since then there's been no contact which I guess means they've seen it.

Is there any coming back?

Is there any coming back?

Nope. If you looked up my salary, the first thing I'd think is you thought I might be a golddigger after your money. That would be a complete turn off.

I’m just going to come out and say it, trying to find out a woman’s salary sends signals that you’re not comfortable being in the provider role. We can all argue that times have changed and there’ll be a million women claiming they are 110% happy being the main breadwinner, but in reality it puts a real dampener on things. Maybe your wife wants to be a stay at home mum while the kids are in primary school? No, can’t afford it. Part time? Perhaps. Maybe she wants to leave her 12 hour a day executive role and retrain as a teaching assistant to spend more time with the kids? Maybe she just wants 2 extra months of unpaid maternity leave? Maybe there’s a kid who needs additional support?
Having a man who’s a confident provider gives women choices about how they parent and you ought to be aware that some women will factor this in their decision making.

Or are you hoping to date someone who earns a lot more than you so you can leach off her & sit on your arse all day? There are a lot of mnetters who've unfortunately ended up with freeloading scroungers on here. Read the threads on multiple relationship breakdowns due to lazy men.

What does this mean?

Yes, you have fucked up.

What was the "other embarrassing and personal stuff on my posts " that she may have seen?

What is the reason you were so cringingly desperate to know what she earned?

Are you not very comfortable with your own financial position/status?

So are you financially compatible?

Yes, you fucked up.

You weren't far off doxxing her. Really poor show and it would put me right off you.

As I see it 3 main issues -

1. doxxing as above
2. presumptuous af that potential date's financial status is ever going to be relevant to you
3. can't be arsed to google, wants someone else to do the braining.

Why did it matter how much she earned?
So somebody else on the forum found out who you were asking about and messaged her?

Archbishop of Canterbury? Queen of England? Receiver of Wreck, maybe? 🤔 😆

Eg CEO Durham University - sounds like this particular woman may have a very well paid/prominent position that threatened fragile male ego IMO

You are a creep. I hope she doesn't give you a chance and blocks you on everything. You need to reflect on your behaviour. You are a walking red flag 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

I’d be worried about you angling to be a cock lodger.

I would immediately write off a potential date if I knew they had done this to me.

It screams that they’re insincere, have ulterior motives, are superficial, shallow and money driven or a number of other negative things.

I want someone to date me for me, not my salary or job title.

Well you are such a peach 🍑

she’s clearly dodged a bullet - go and invest your own money into some literature on how to find a woman and keep her!!

Me too