Think my relationship may of just ended

Littleoldme789 · 2025-01-05T00:23:39+00:00

Been with dp for near on 15 years, we have 3 children all boys. Things haven’t been great for ages due to him messaging other girls , lack of trust , he’s a narcissist and his family are very narcissistic too. It’s all come to a head tonight. We wasn’t great anyway as we was rowing about something else but he hates me taking the kids out without him (he works 6 days a week) and today I did as I’m their mum and I’m well entitled to. He’s started about that and literally came up and shouted at me cos my boy was coughing a bit and apparently it’s cos I took them out. He’s only also with me for the kids apparently… obviously I love him so much but I think we’re toxic together and for the kids it’s clearly not healthy how do I get through this as I’m aware it’s going to be very hard 😩😩😩 any advice welcomed please x

healthybychristmas · 05/01/2025 00:25

Why do you love him? He doesn't sound very nice at all. He's nasty to you and he isn't loyal to you and he's controlling.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/01/2025 00:27

He sounds like a prize PITA and I think you would be happier without him.

Can you make that happen?

Are the kids supposed to not ever go anywhere because he chooses to work 6 days a week?!

Plus someone who is messaging other girls isn't someone you want to be with. He seems to have plenty of time on his hands to do that!

Azandme · 05/01/2025 00:28

What exactly do you love about him?

MummaEllie · 05/01/2025 00:31

It's a very scary place at the end of a relationship, specially when you have children involved isn't it.
But my advice is that you take that leap if you truly are not respected. In time you will see your worth and find someone who truly appreciates you and will dedicate themselves to making a relationship work.
Don't tolerate being treated badly for the 'sake of the kids'. Because if anything it's not helping them, it's actually making them believe that this behaviour is normal. X

Original poster

Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 00:34

healthybychristmas · 05/01/2025 00:25

Why do you love him? He doesn't sound very nice at all. He's nasty to you and he isn't loyal to you and he's controlling.

I love the person he was when I met him 😩

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Original poster

Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 00:35

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/01/2025 00:27

He sounds like a prize PITA and I think you would be happier without him.

Can you make that happen?

Are the kids supposed to not ever go anywhere because he chooses to work 6 days a week?!

Plus someone who is messaging other girls isn't someone you want to be with. He seems to have plenty of time on his hands to do that!

Edited

That’s what I said and he said if I wanna take them out in my own without him, now when he’s off work he’s taking them out on his own and I’m not allowed to go like I’m sure that’s punishing the kids more then it is me

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Original poster

Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 00:35

Azandme · 05/01/2025 00:28

What exactly do you love about him?

When were good were good but rn the bad times outweigh the good 🥺

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mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/01/2025 00:36

Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 00:35

That’s what I said and he said if I wanna take them out in my own without him, now when he’s off work he’s taking them out on his own and I’m not allowed to go like I’m sure that’s punishing the kids more then it is me

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He's a hateful POS. Harden your heart and bin him off. That's not normal behaviour.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/01/2025 00:36

Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 00:34

I love the person he was when I met him 😩

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Sadly he's not that person any more.

Original poster

Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 00:37

MummaEllie · 05/01/2025 00:31

It's a very scary place at the end of a relationship, specially when you have children involved isn't it.
But my advice is that you take that leap if you truly are not respected. In time you will see your worth and find someone who truly appreciates you and will dedicate themselves to making a relationship work.
Don't tolerate being treated badly for the 'sake of the kids'. Because if anything it's not helping them, it's actually making them believe that this behaviour is normal. X

Honestly I don’t even know where my heads at. I know eventually I will be ok but it’s getting to that initial point. I don’t handle my emotions very well either I’m quite a sensitive person so I’m just worried how I’m going to manage to keep it together for the sake of the kids 😩😩😩

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Original poster

Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 00:37

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/01/2025 00:36

Sadly he's not that person any more.

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I know which is hard, it’s my birthday next week too which is just great! 👍🏻

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healthybychristmas · 05/01/2025 00:38

But you met him 15 years ago! In the meantime he's changed a lot, obviously as she wouldn't have gone out with them if he was like that then. It is very very sad when a relationship ends but I think you are having a lucky escape here.

MummaEllie · 05/01/2025 00:43

Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 00:37

Honestly I don’t even know where my heads at. I know eventually I will be ok but it’s getting to that initial point. I don’t handle my emotions very well either I’m quite a sensitive person so I’m just worried how I’m going to manage to keep it together for the sake of the kids 😩😩😩

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Do you think he's capable of listening to how your feeling and making changes? If not then it's deffo time to put you and the kids first.
You will be surprised at the strength us mums find when we need it the most. X

Original poster

Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 00:49

healthybychristmas · 05/01/2025 00:38

But you met him 15 years ago! In the meantime he's changed a lot, obviously as she wouldn't have gone out with them if he was like that then. It is very very sad when a relationship ends but I think you are having a lucky escape here.

Yeah he said he wouldn’t even look twice at me as I’m fat and ugly so that’s knocked my confidence so much, it is sad especially when I literally went through all my 20s with him and half of my 30s gave up my career for him literally moved for him away from my family and now I end up with no one cos he’s pushed them all away

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Original poster

Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 00:50

MummaEllie · 05/01/2025 00:43

Do you think he's capable of listening to how your feeling and making changes? If not then it's deffo time to put you and the kids first.
You will be surprised at the strength us mums find when we need it the most. X

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I’m not sure we’ve been here so many times, and he doesn’t listen really cos he’s never in the wrong he’s the victim I’m the villain. I can see our issues rubbing off on the kids so I know it’s for the best but believe me doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt cos it does

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MummaEllie · 05/01/2025 00:53

I can Imagine it hurts alot. I just saw your post above about how he speaks to you and the sacrifice you have made for him, so I know it's not easy for you as your now further away from family.
Please reach out to your family and see if they can support you in any way. Xx

user1492757084 · 05/01/2025 00:54

Baby steps.
Can you find work that suits your boys' schooling hours?

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/01/2025 00:58

Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 00:37

I know which is hard, it’s my birthday next week too which is just great! 👍🏻

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Sweetheart, give yourself the best birthday present - your freedom from him x

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/01/2025 01:00

Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 00:49

Yeah he said he wouldn’t even look twice at me as I’m fat and ugly so that’s knocked my confidence so much, it is sad especially when I literally went through all my 20s with him and half of my 30s gave up my career for him literally moved for him away from my family and now I end up with no one cos he’s pushed them all away

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You are worth so much more than this! x

Brandyb · 05/01/2025 01:29

Everything you post about him makes it worse and worse. This definitely doesn't feel like it's going to get better - he's a controlling and vindictive person.
It is scary but you need to start thinking about the logistics of leaving, one small step at a time.
Have you got a good person to confide in who will be trustworthy and help you?

Gymsharkandcoffee · 05/01/2025 01:31

Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 00:35

When were good were good but rn the bad times outweigh the good 🥺

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I’m sure hitler was a nice guy until he wasn’t

Original poster

Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 08:10

Brandyb · 05/01/2025 01:29

Everything you post about him makes it worse and worse. This definitely doesn't feel like it's going to get better - he's a controlling and vindictive person.
It is scary but you need to start thinking about the logistics of leaving, one small step at a time.
Have you got a good person to confide in who will be trustworthy and help you?

No I haven’t got anyone, he’s made sure of that. All of the bridges are burned and long gone. Literally all I have is my kids and that’s it. I’m not even joking either, he has everyone, I have no one.

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Littleoldme789 · 05/01/2025 08:10

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/01/2025 01:00

You are worth so much more than this! x

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Hmm am I ? I don’t see it right now x

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