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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bf searching his ex, am I just a rebound

3 replies

potatopatoto · 04/01/2025 23:42

Last week I was sat with my bf he was searching someone up on Facebook and I seen his exs name was in the search bar, I didn’t say anything and I’m not sure if he noticed Id even seen it. We haven’t been together long and they had only been split up 2 months before we met, I first thought he was probably just being nosey so tried to just forget about it. Tonight while he’s asleep I had that horrible urge to just look on his phone and seen he’s not friends with her on Facebook and her profile is pretty much private other than profile pics. I went on to his activity log and seen he’s searched her account 7 times starting from 24th xmas eve, and last time being this morning while he would have been on a break at work. I’m pretty certain they aren’t in any contact and I understand people can get curious and want a nose but her profile is private so I can’t help but find this really strange and wonder what he’s looking for exactly? When we got together he told me they were on and off for a few years but towards the end she was verbally abusive towards him so he ended things for good and she seemed to accept it.

I know me snooping was a major red flag but after speaking to a friend I think I’ve come to the conclusion I’m maybe just the rebound and this relationship probably wouldn’t work anyway with me snooping. Should I just end things here? Any advice welcome please

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 05/01/2025 00:34

Clearly you think something is amiss hence the snooping
You’re in a new relationship and you don’t fully trust him,cut your losses
In fairness he might just be looking out of habit,but doesn't actually want her back . Problem is you think it’s a problem and (understandably) feel undermined and like the rebound girl. Honestly, this should be your loved up just got together halcyon days not the let me sneak a peek at his phone days.

Go find a man who’s not looking up other women on his phone

Glitteredupup · 05/01/2025 11:43

This is not uncommon nowadays, I wouldn’t worry about. Would start to worry if I discovered they are texting each other.

H112 · 05/01/2025 11:51

You met him two months after? You're a rebound

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