Hi
please be kind as I am really upset over this. I have a beautiful baby who is 6 months and I have loved the last 6 months with him - he is amazing. Sleep not too bad and I don’t feel as down or exhausted as I expected to. Actually I’m pretty happy in myself.
the blight on all this is my partner. We’ve been together 3.5 years only, moved in together after 9 months and had a baby because of our ages (we’re 35). We bought a house together over this time, near my parents so I have a lot of support. he is just miserable to be with since our baby was born. Snappy, breathing down my neck about how I do things all the time (‘use this saucepan, not that one. You’re using the wrong nappy etc etc). This morning I had bought us Gail’s croissants and nice fruit for breakfast and had made baby porridge. He was taking ages doing the nappy and I waited but did politely call that his breakfast was getting cold and he shouted really aggressively back at me. I felt it ruined the morning. But basically everything is ruined all the time by him, to the extent that I love my days alone with baby and I hate weekends and when he is off. I feel he does nothing nice for me, just behaves like my actual enemy.
ive told him he seems unhappy and needs to try to make himself happier - either through exercising or counselling etc. But beyond that im finding it hard to muster up much sympathy when his unhappiness feels like it’s directed towards me. I feel like he is just dragging me down and I would prefer to do this on my own.
we don’t have sex anymore, have only done it about 3 times since baby born and it was rubbish. Was never that good to begin with but really is the pits now.
ive read how not to hate your husband but i just don’t even feel it’s relevent because im not wanting more help, im just out of love and don’t like being around him.
im not sure we were ever really that in love. We had a good life before baby and he was better company, would book restaurants etc and I feel like we ultimately had a good friendship and an ok sex life and that that was enough but not I’m wondering if that wasn’t enough and I should have been more in love with him to begin with. Also I do just feel like he has changed for the worse.
for further background he works a corporate job but was never that stressed about it pre baby. Now he is a lot more stressed by it. I go back to work part time at 10 months. Currently I do all the night wakings (baby wakes twice a night). Partner gives him a final feed with a bottle but usually around 9/10pm so he isn’t going to bed crazy late or anything. Baby is downstairs with us of an evening and is fairly demanding and goes to bed around 9 ish which I admit could be better but actually he is on and off sleeping during that time and we are still mainly able to have a sit down meal, watch a show etc.
not really sure what I’m asking for other than shared experiences, whether that’s staying or leaving a partner in a similar situation. Currently fantasising about ending it and putting relationship totally behind me…