Page 2 | Youngest son

Pennyhousewife67 · 2025-01-03T08:07:32+00:00

What would you do if your youngest son who is 10 came up to you and told you that his dad your husband is seeing another woman behind your back

CrotchetyQuaver · 03/01/2025 12:52

What else do you know about the circumstances? I wouldn't be overly upset about the older ones denying it, they're in a very difficult position here.

I'd ask the youngest to tell you everything - did they bump into him with this other woman etc etc then I'd turn detective, get as much information as you can and think hard about what you do next because obviously if it's true it's a very big deal, play a waiting game for now until you're sure of your facts and then confront him.

Orangesinthebag · 03/01/2025 12:57

Pinkbonbon · 03/01/2025 11:38

Of course, that's why you make it clear you understand why they did it but teach them it was the wrong thing to do. You can't expect them to learn otherwise.

It's going to be tough on them moving forwards regardless. There's going to be feelings of guilt all round but especially from the ten year old. That's why you tell them consistently they are not responsible for their dad's mistakes and all that you ask of them is that they try to do what's right for their own part. That you understand why they lied but it was wrong. That they are loved but that you want them to grow up into people who try to do what's right even when it's hard.

It's important to consistently reassure them that they are not responsible for your or theur father's choices, that they are loved. But it's also important to teach your children how to differentiate right from wrong, in areas that may feel grey. And that they should never act imorally just because someone else expects then to or asks it of them. So that they don't feel guilt in future about doing the right thing.

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No, don't do this.
Yes, telling the truth is correct in general in life but this is super complicated because it's their mum & dad and they will have conflicting loyalties.
Don't lecture them about telling the truth on this issue, it's way too emotional & conflicted.
They shouldn't be involved at all but if this is all true your stupid husband has involved them. Don't involve them further at this stage with this "life lesson" nonsense!

StasisMom · 03/01/2025 13:07

Agree with the above, best the kids know you love them and you'll both look after them etc.

MinnieCauldwell · 03/01/2025 13:15

My mother involved me in her affair, I was covering up for her from about age 8 to 14 or 15, destroyed the relationship with my dad when he found out. He blamed me more than my mum I think.so it does happen sadly.

ILoveAnnaQuay · 03/01/2025 13:17

@smithey85 that's a ridiculous suggestion. If it was her husbands sister, that would make her the children's aunt and they would recognise her. In fact, if it was anyone the youngest child knows then he'd say so "I saw Daddy kissing Lauren's Mum" or "I saw Daddy kissing the lady from the Post Office"

isthesolution · 03/01/2025 13:23

I'd say 'thank you for telling me. I'm sorry you've had to see that. It's always right to tell the truth. Where was this and do you know who it was?' After he'd answered I'd just say 'thank you for your honestly. I can deal with this now, it isn't for you to worry about'

Is there any chance your son has misread the situation? My husband may kiss a female friend on the cheek as a greeting (for example)

Does he know who the person is?

user2848502016 · 03/01/2025 13:34

If my almost 10 year old DD said this I would believe her, what reason would she have to lie?
You need to confront your DH 😢

smithey85 · 03/01/2025 13:42

ILoveAnnaQuay · 03/01/2025 13:17

@smithey85 that's a ridiculous suggestion. If it was her husbands sister, that would make her the children's aunt and they would recognise her. In fact, if it was anyone the youngest child knows then he'd say so "I saw Daddy kissing Lauren's Mum" or "I saw Daddy kissing the lady from the Post Office"

It's also ridiculous to think that he would actively involve his three older children within an 'affair' and openly kiss the OW in front of them. Talk about playing with fire!

Lightswitchup · 03/01/2025 15:30

MinnieCauldwell · 03/01/2025 13:15

My mother involved me in her affair, I was covering up for her from about age 8 to 14 or 15, destroyed the relationship with my dad when he found out. He blamed me more than my mum I think.so it does happen sadly.

I’m so sorry that happened to you

MsDogLady · 03/01/2025 16:25

@Pennyhousewife67, could you please give us more information about the incident your son described?

Where did this encounter happen?
Were the children actually with H and OW, or were they at a distance and spotted them, unbeknownst to H and OW?
Do you know the OW?

beenwhereyouare · 03/01/2025 23:01

smithey85 · 03/01/2025 12:37

I'm really sorry, but this just doesn't add up.

Why would he involve his kids in an affair and openly kiss and touch another woman in front of them? I don't believe anyone would be this stupid.

Why are three of the children giving a different account to your 10 year old?

Does he have a sister? This would explain why the children were with him and it might have been a peck on the cheek to say goodbye rather than a fully blown kiss?

Sorry, but you're wrong about this.

"Daddy kissed Julie" is how my best friend found out her husband was cheating. He took the 6-year-old camping, and brought the OW along. Dad rolled over and kissed her with the child lying between them. Presumably they either thought he was sleeping or that he wouldn't tell.

A very messy divorce and a lack of CM soon followed. Her husband was an ass.

Same for my mother. SF took my little sister trick-or-treating and refused to let me go. When they got back, she said she had so much fun playing with Candace and Josh. Turned out SF took the OW (his secretary) and her kids along, too.

So yes, sadly, it adds up.

Comportment · 03/01/2025 23:21

This is a load of bollocks.