DH and I have been married almost a decade and we have always had problems. I do most of the parenting and housework, I have always put in more financially, he refused to compromise, he has an anger problem and loses it very easily, he can be nasty and petty. The list could go on. I actually think he's a narcissist. We have never really resolved our issues as he refuses to discuss things and storms off.
He's been especially weird the past couple of weeks and taking it out on me. I'm not a saint but I know I hadn't done anything to deserve it. He does tend to react badly to me being annoyed with him so he's behaved poorly and I've told him it's not acceptable (I've even said we're done at least twice this week I client earlier today) and his reaction is always to push back more and tell me why he's done rather than try to make things right. I don't even think we can make things right because whenever we agree to change things nothing changes. He will agree something but go back on it. He apologised for being rude to me when this recent mood started but then did the same thing when he got home from work.
To get to the point, tonight he's said he's done, our relationship is toxic and we need to split up. Prior to that he said something less set on splitting up but I think I reaffirmed the idea by saying yes that's a good idea. I am bluffing a bit as I feel like I'm not ready for that even though I think this isn't working. We have young DC and he has said he would want 50/50 care of them. I do most of the parenting, we have a close bond (DH does too but I am the one who always gets up in the night with them, they come to me or I go to them, I make their meals, I buy their clothes). The children would find this difficult but honestly so would I.
I am jumping the gun and I don't know why him saying he wants to separate carries any more weight than me saying it but I am worrying about this now. He is not even used to looking after them for more than half a day at a time (even that is unusual) so he would find it hard but I know he would go for this rather than pay CSM if we split up.
Any advice?