Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Introvert/ extrovert marriage - help!

3 replies

happygreentea · 02/01/2025 20:19

Hello,

I’ve realised this year that I am an introvert - I always knew this I think, but it’s taken me a while to accept and embrace this.

My DH is super extroverted. He has so many friends, goes out all the time, wants to stay out later at parties etc. He has also dated a lot, has had a lot of relationships in the past - he is faithful but quite flirtatious as well. For context, he is 13 years older than me

We do clash a bit over our different social batteries. For example, he always wants to host dinner parties. Before I moved into his house, he was very well known for throwing big parties, which he stopped// heavily changed or reduced for me. His friends reminisce about that time and I feel quite bad about being a party-pooper, but we also have small children.
He’s very popular, we live in London and I feel like I’m constantly bumping into his friends, acquaintances, ex-flings etc - this is sort of fun but I’m also a bit tired of feeling in his shadow.

Generally we compromise, but I feel tired of all our negotiations, it would be so much easier if we could just have the same social needs all the time! Does anyone else have a similar situation? How did you achieve your needs as an introvert and a mother?

Sorry, I feel like that was quite a messy post (three children under 4 - I am sleep deprived). Any thoughts welcome!

OP posts:
happygreentea · 02/01/2025 20:23

For further context, I am Scandinavian which (generalising) tends to be quite introverted cultures.

I’m thinking about -
1 - how do you balance / compromise on different social needs in a relationship?
2 - am I always going to feel a bit boring in comparison to my DH?
I feel like I have enough friends for myself, plus I’m mainly looking after our children at the moment, but in comparison to his very busy life I feel my experience is all a bit limited. But I suppose this is the age gap as well, as he’s had more time to make friends.

OP posts:
redfishcat · 03/01/2025 18:11

Sounds more like he is avoiding being a parent.
No parent of small children throws dinner parties and goes out , more than once a week.
When do you get time away from the kids ?

Gem359 · 03/01/2025 18:22

How does anyone have any kind of partying lifestyle when they have 3 kids under 4? How much time does he spend with the kids or doing things as a family? Is he still trying to carry on the lifestyle of a single man while having a wife and 3 kids? Have his friends not grown up and got married and had children themselves? I don't think the issue is you here!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page