Opinions

[Yung93]

Hi all,

All opinions welcome.

The background is, the other night I had my partners coat on as I was cold and I went to the toilet. I never knew his phone was in his pocket and it kept pinging. Anyways, I thought something may have been up so I unlocked his phone (as his notifications don't show up on locked screen). Underneath the message he had received, I found several messages sent from him to his child's mother saying "hope you're ok xxx" "have a nice day xxx" "If you're not well I can't sort some tea out xxx" "I will MOT your car" etc.... Although, nothing was sent back from her behalf.

Should I be concerned? It makes me feel humiliated a little.

It's the mother of his child, her car and wellbeing affects their child. He should be kind caring towards her. Now if there are other signs like he hides your relation from her, stares at her eyes and talks nonstop about her, gets upset when she'a on a date that's different but those texts alone wouldn't alarm me. Some people put x's in texts to anyone they are half friendly with.

Why are you checking his phone? Has he given you any reason to suspect him of anything?

It seems like he still has a good relationship with his ex.

You have a man who’s not a shit ex. Be the woman who celebrates that about him. Don’t be the woman who asks him to do less for his child.

I think it's because it was half 11 that I was abit suspicious that's all. These messages go all way back through to September so it's not something I've done before. I didn't add much information to begin with, regarding him being friendly with his ex is absolutely fine. I'm all for an easy life. But he says he can't stand her ect and that she misses medical appointments with her daughter to which he says he goes mad about but then in next breath on a message he's "it's ok these things happen". So I think that's where I've thought well you've lied to me. Not that it's any issues him being ok but why would he make out he hated her guts and then be all nice on message. Another thing I also didn't consider adding is, when I started a work placement I was ill, like proper bad, I could not get up to be sick ect. & he ran off to his mums for the week because he said he couldn't do anything for me but then his ex was poorly and he's suggesting sorting tea out for them. Another was, he never paid any money to bills living at mine, and we split in September because he add £3500 day in his bank but I had to pay my direct debits two weeks late (borrowed off my old man) and little did I know he paid for her MOT and didn't get paid for it till December.

Just finish the relationship.

Im on the fence as to whether there is something more with the ex but the important thing is that he is a cocklodger who leaves you to financially struggle and didn't help you when you were sick so regardless of what's going on with his ex, he is a shit boyfriend that you'd be better off without.

His DC is his priority. Getting the MOT sorted benefits his DC. Making dinner when his ex is ill benefits his daughter. Being nice to his ex to keep her calm benefits his daughter.

He shouldn’t be getting a free ride at your house though. And in all honesty your focus is misplaced - a £50 MOT loan for the ex when he had circa £3,500 in his bank account isn’t the problem.

The problem is he didn’t offer a few hundred pounds of the remaining £3,450 to cover direct debits on your joint home.

He may be an honourable dad (and ex) but he’s a selfish boyfriend who doesn’t care about you.