Marriage breakdown/house renovation/two children

[jessblack]

I am going through a marriage breakdown, plus we are halfway through a house renovation and we have two sons. The separation happened in March 2024 and we have lived separately within the same house since. I ended it, and despite my ex being against it and upset to begin with, he has made his peace with the separation and he even started seeing someone last year for several months. There has been no urgency over finishing the house as my ex had been doing the work for 2 years and had a well-earned break over the summer. I have recently started seeing someone, things are getting serious and this has sped up my keenness to finish the house and sell it. However, my ex will not move out and he has started to dig his heels in a bit with regard to childcare/doing the work/money etc. I have said I will move out and either stay with a family member or rent something small until the house sells. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I know people who have left marriages, but not with the added complication of a house renovation!! Any help or advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

What outcome are you looking for? What do you expect life to be like after. Why are you motivated to change the situation now?

Personally I think you need to sort the house out first then sell and find somewhere else to move to. I would pause any other relationships until this is sorted. It complicates things and you should need to sort this all out first rather than motivated by a new relationship
If he's worth waiting for he will wait.

if you move out then you have no control over how long it will take to finish the work in the house. It will be in you husbands interest to delay that as long as possible, perhaps for several more years. You will be trapped in rented as half your capital ( I assume) is in the house. You will also have to agree with him how to pay for half the materials and labour.

Or you could a get a valuation for the house now ( which will be low as it’s unfinished ) .

It’s not straightforward and divorce law depend on where you live, so you need legal advice .

Could the house be sold as a work in progress? How old are the children?

I think it will be a hard sell to get him to complete the work so that you can move out with your boyfriend tbf

Maybe you could offer him a deal, if house is finished and sold by x date you will only take equity from price you bought it for, not any increase due to work he did. Alternatively he could buy you out for same deal.