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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I think my sister fancies my boyfriend

36 replies

Ltewy · 01/01/2025 16:45

Hi, so I'm 5 months pregnant and recently went out for a meal with my sister and boyfriend. Everything was fine at the meal , my boyfriend and sister then went for a couple of drinks as they'd had a couple already and I went home. My boyfriend that night called me sounding very uncomfortable. He proceeded to tell me that the whole night while i wasn't there my sister was saying 'give me a kiss' and 'give me a cuddle' which he didn't entertain and that because of the height difference when she was asking him this that she had a look on her face and my boyfriend said if he entertained it ( which I know he wouldn't) that she would have definitely engaged, my sister was drunk at this point and was just smothering him and trying to kiss him on his neck. My boyfriend said he felt super uncomfortable and that if I was there I would have said something and also that if my sisters boyfriend was there and saw it all he would've went mad. Please bare in mind she never does this to him Infront of me but when they have both been out for drinks previously she did it then too. He also said as she came in from outside she brushed his bum, and that he felt uncomfortable because it's something your partner would do. And the last time they was with eachother before this occasion she was telling people they go out for date nights which is untrue they just go for a couple of drinks as friends as my sister cleans his nan's house so after that they will go to the pub and my boyfriend had to say no it's not that at all. Are me and my boyfriend going crazy?????????

OP posts:
StrawberryWater · 01/01/2025 18:13

Hmmm something fishy is going on.

  1. Either your boyfriend is telling the truth and she tried to floosy him. However, why go out for drinks with someone if they make you feels so uncomfortable?

or 2) He tried it on and is trying to paint her as floosy after she rejected him.

You need to figure out who you trust more. Good luck is all I can say. My sister did floosy one of my boyfriends (caught them at it) and I ended up cutting her off. So it does happen.

Thesheerrelief · 01/01/2025 18:17

They've kissed - or more - someone has seen them and he's getting in first with his cover story. I'm sorry, OP. Genuinely better to find out now and not five years' time.

DorianMeile · 01/01/2025 18:18

And you haven't confronted your sister about it? Right...

Coconutter24 · 01/01/2025 18:21

If he’s so uncomfortable why does he continue to go out for drinks with her?

DaringLion · 01/01/2025 20:14

So this has happened before . Why have you not asked your sister? Why dos he still go for drinks with her?

Custardslices · 01/01/2025 20:42

I'm shocked he's only 5ft 2

I wonder what's so attractive about him? Pregnant partner at home who's sister he's with that tries it on yet comes back for more. Real catch

Bin him confront her

Nothingisrealisit · 01/01/2025 21:34

Custardslices · 01/01/2025 20:42

I'm shocked he's only 5ft 2

I wonder what's so attractive about him? Pregnant partner at home who's sister he's with that tries it on yet comes back for more. Real catch

Bin him confront her

Sorry but where does it say he is only 5ft 2? Am I missing something?
Obviously something going on between your bf and sister OP and your bf knows they have been seen and is trying to get his story in first.

Custardslices · 02/01/2025 12:48

She said height is a issue, it was a joke.

Liv999 · 02/01/2025 13:04

Why is he continuously going for drinks with her? Not the actions of a guy who's uncomfortable in her company is it

Kerkyra2024 · 02/01/2025 13:23

It's pretty suspicious that he says this has happened before to the point he is uncomfortable when alone with her yet still goes out with just her. It sounds to me like he may be covering for something

Greywarden · 02/01/2025 13:25

OP there are no good possibilities here (although some are less bad than others).

Option 1 - your bf is telling the truth about your sister and she is being inappropriate... but in this scenario he has still chosen to go out for drinks with her, seemingly several times, so has put himself in this position with her despite suspecting her crush. I don't see any possible reason for him to do this other than that:

  • part of him enjoys the attention of the flirtation and / or of telling you about it afterwards. In telling you details, eg the way she apparently looked up into his face, he is sending a message to you that he could have had sex with your sister if he'd wanted to and heroically chose to resist, which I guess is a way of reminding you how attractive he is to other women and of the choices and power he has.
  • or that he actually did do something to encourage your sister and wants to erase that by setting things up so it looks like it was all her.

Option 2 - your boyfriend is lying about or exaggerating your sister's actions to make it seem like she has a crush and has acted inappropriately. Maybe he wants to distance you from her by undermining your trust in her. Maybe he wants to believe she liked him for his own ego. Maybe he made a move on her that she rejected and he wants to make her look like the bad guy who is to blame.

I don't see any other possible options. If he has totally good intentions here, has done nothing wrong and is just concerned, why would he have kept going out with her / stayed out with her without you?

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