How to get brave enough to just call it a day?

[lsilbe]

Together 10 years, married 5.

He is:

• boring, never wants to do anything
• lazy, never helps around the house or does any house work other than washing dishes
• doesn't listen to a word I say
• snappy
• ignores me and the kids in favour of his phone
• greedy and just thinks about food

I probably on remain because of the kids and not wanting to survive on one salary.

I am spending my 30s bored, under appreciated and fed up.

Get organised. What age are the children? Do you both own the house or are you renting? If so, is it a joint tenancy? Who’s name is one the agreement? Would you have to move to another house? Are you working? Do you have an income? If not, could you look for work? Could you work around the kids and apply for benefits to top up your income if you were a single parent? Check turn 2 us to see what you would be entitled to and cms too. Do you have childcare or could you get childcare to allow you to work? Universal credit will help with childcare costs if you’re a single parent on a low income to allow you to work. Get these things sorted and it will be easier to find the courage to leave. Preparation is key. Speak to lawyer.
The alternative is to consider if you can work on your relationship. If he’s not abusive, could you go to couples counselling? What is your communication like? Is there a chance that he could be depressed? Would he see a doctor if you made it a condition of working on your relationship? Could he be comfort eating? Low testosterone could also be an issue. He needs to get that checked out too. Does he work? Tell him he needs to do more childcare and get out more and do things for yourself. Make plans and leave him with the kids. Tell him. Don’t ask. It’s time to put your foot down for what you want and if not going to happen, get your ducks in a row.

That sounds absolutely soul destroying.

What's he got to say for himself? Does he ever express his feelings about what's causing his behaviour?

If he's unwilling to improve, there is nothing you can do but separate. You deserve a better life than to live with an amoeba of a man. Your children must wonder why they've got a dud of a dad.