Looking for advice about what to do..
I have a cousin, lets call him John (not his real name). He and I are have never been been close, in fact he was quite a bully to my sibling and I when we were kids.
John grew up to be in an out of trouble with the police, and had some very far right and racist leanings. For reasons I don't fully know (as we're not close), all his immediate family disowned him and cut him off.
Being a polite and "nice" (some would say too nice for my own good) person, I'm now the only person in the whole extended family circle who will give John the time of day, even though I try my best to avoid him. It's usually easy to avoid him because we don't live nearby and and don't have any friends etc in common.
For the last years (since his eldest child flew the nest and cut him off), John has been sending me letters in the run up to Christmas, gushing over how much he loves me and how I've always been his favourite cousin (there are over 30 of us cousins on that side of the family). Saying how nice it would be to spend Christmas with me etc..
I've never responded as I don't want the contact, let alone have him at my Christmas table.
He indicated in this year's letter and Christmas card that he'll "drop by" to see me and "catch up" over the holiday period. I'm dreading every time the door bell rings or a car pulls up outside. My DP knows how I feel, so will answer any knock at the door and tell John I'm not home.
How do I get John to stop this yearly contact and gushing letters of how I've always been his favourite? As I say, we've never been close and he was the kind of cousin I only ever saw at wedding or funerals.