Is 54 too old to meet someone?

[LilyAnn13]

I know some of you will say "of course not", but I just feel so old and past it 😕

NO!

Honestly I know people in their 70s who have met someone, you are nowhere near old

Believe in yourself, you can do this 🙂

Yes! I know of loads who get together much older than you. They have all been involved with a hobby or voluntary work etc

Probably not.
But if you ensure you have good standards and stick to your own age (or younger) the then it's more difficult.

Don't lower your standards or feel you have to date an old man just to have 'someone'

Exactly, don't feel you have to date older as some would like you to believe.

Absolutely not. My DPs Mum married at 70 to a man she met online. He's lovely and they've been together 14 years now

I met my husband at 50, married at 54. I'd been single up until then.

my friend is 72 and has recently met a chap; they didn't meet online, they live in the same road. Get yourself out there doing things that interest you and you will likely come across someone else doing the same thing..

No, but I don't think it's an easy process. I also don't think dating sites are the place to do it either. In my opinion, it's best to get out and meet people than trawling through profiles!

I'm also 54 and whilst currently in a relationship, I don't think it will survive for much longer. I may have to contemplate being 54 and single too!

Not at all too old. Met my man at 52 & now living my absolute best life with him. Good luck & keep a positive mindset.

I hope not! I'm 53 and happily single although one day I may want a relationship. But no, I don't think it's too old at all, can happen at any age I'm sure.

It’s not impossible but it’s difficult. I became single at 54 and 5 years on I’m still single. In that time I’ve had 7/8 dates. I’ve tried OLD but got nowhere with it. Most of the men who messaged me were 10/20 years older or lived 300 miles away. I socialise a lot, I’m out most weekends but just don’t meet anyone.

I’ve got probably the best social life now that I’ve had since I was in my early 20’s, lots of friends of both sexes but just no romance. Most of my friends my age are also single and in same boat

Why do you feel old & past it?

I'm a couple of years older than you. I'm single but would like to be in a relationship.
It's not easy to meet someone in your 50s but it is possible.

However, it sounds like you need a confidence boost to help.

A friend of mine gave me the following advice when I first became single.
Smile, chat to people you meet everyday, in the shops, at the bus stop, in the coffee shop. Just a few words. It stops you feeling invisible.
Dress to make yourself feel good, even if you're just going to tesco. You never know who you might bump into.

I don't always follow her advice but it has helped me feel better about myself.

Trying to meet someone if you don't have confidence in yourself will be very hard.

Sounds like you're in a rut. This is affecting your outlook into one of pessimism.

Personally, given that meeting someone is not something you can entirely control anyway, so isn't going to happen overnight even if you decided to have faith...

I'd plough my efforts into not feeling old and past it. I'd try to jolt myself out of a rut by embracing something new.

There is nothing more aging of the outlook on life than arriving at a point where you think, right that's it, this is me. This is all I am and all I will be, I'm done.

Whereas, trying something new on for size is incredibly invigorating and kick starts a process of refreshing oneself and waking up parts of you that have gone to sleep and are dormant.

I'm going to give you some inspiration now, please have a listen... This doesn't have to be a template obviously, but if it doesn't inspire you to feel your blood running in your veins once more I don't know what will, because this is a story of someone who anyone - including herself - would just think is just dead ordinary... But decided staying as she was wasn't for her....

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/w3ct5nyg?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

What you stand to gain if you brush yourself off can only be known with hindsight, but you can at least reasonably expect to lose the 'old and past it' feeling, maybe acquire new friends, maybe find love.

Years ago my late grandfather (a widower) got chatting to a woman outside Debenhams in town and they ended up getting married. He was 80 and she was 76. So 54 is definitely not too old!

I would just add the best thing to stop feeling old and past it is find new friends, get yourself a nice group to socialise with and work on building a great life where a man is a nice to have rather than an essential.

My mum's 82 and has a man begging her to marry him. She's happy living alone and going on holiday etc with him however

I'm 55, having a lot of fun atm on Tinder with younger men. But I'm not looking for anything serious right now.

There are lots of people in their 50s, 60s and 70s who are alone, maybe through divorce or bereavement, who are looking for someone.

Grim, as if you want a man in his 60s/70s when you're in your 50s!

Ive just found a fwb and im 61

In your 50s I would very much recommend a man in his 40s.... Just saying 😌

I was out with a group of friends in a bar at Christmas and saw a couple of ladies come in who looked to be in their 50’s. They were absolutely knock out looking - very glamourous and well dressed. I got the impression they were single. When I looked at the options in the bar I felt really depressed for them - slim pickings indeed. I struggled to find a single bloke that I would have put with either of them. Not trying to put you off OP because I think you can meet someone at any age I just felt that women in their 50’s seem to be more vibrant and sparky than their male contemporaries. Maybe a man a little younger would be a good bet.