Would this comment bother you?

[Sockrock33]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year, he lives around 40minute drive away from me.
we are both mid 30s and he is back living with his parents following his last relationship ending. His brother also lives there.
due to that, he comes and stays with me. I have visited his home before twice but generally he comes to me and stays a few days a week. I have my own house and live alone.
today he commented that even if he had his own place he would have to “do all the running anyway” as I would never come to him. He wasn’t joking when he said this and it felt like a dig. I quizzed him on it and he said he imagines that if he had his own house then I would still expect him to travel to me and to would be all one sided. I genuinely don’t know why he would say that, I’d rather he did have his own place. in all my previous relationships I have equally visited my boyfriends and vice versa, I’ve had a boyfriend who lived much further away and travelled weekly to see him.
my boyfriend doesn’t seem to care about the comment but it just made me feel like he has me all wrong.
ive also had an emotional Christmas with family things so I could just be a bit sensitive

I agree with @Janpoppy. 🚩🚩🚩

So he gets to belittle and insult you and then refuse to engage when you challenge it?

You have a nasty immature twat on your hands.

The mask is slipping.
You would be very wise to take note OP.
He is showing you who he is, believe him.

Who does his washing and feed him ? If you does he pay you for it

This.

He sounds very immature. He also sounds resentful that you have a place and he is living with his mum and dad and brother. I don't really like the sound of him.

I think it sounds like a thoughtless and stupid comment rather than a dig.

God he sounds tiresome, the kind of man who expects a round of applause for doing his own dishes. He should be embarrassed about living at home, and focus that into sorting himself out. Unfortunately he feels he can make himself feel better by putting you down, rather than dragging himself up.

He hasn't got you wrong, he knows you are way ahead of him and he wants to make sure you don't realise it.

I think you should point out the effort involved in having your own place, doing your own cooking/cleaning, paying your own bills - this clearly outstrips his little bit of effort driving over.

He’s trying to pretend this is what you prefer, as it makes him feel less guilty for living with his parents and you having to do all the hosting.

he’s a twat.

Both good points.

It may be hinting at moving in too.

Definitely do not let him move in.
I would be dumping him.

Sounds like he’s testing the waters to potentially become a live in cocklodger

Yes I think this is it

"Let's put it to the test when you're no longer living with mum and dad you loser!"

Afaic it just sounds like the usual. You're doing all the work and he's just complaining for no reason. Sorry if that sounds nasty (about him, NOT YOU), but that's where I am atm.

I think he's priming you. He's trying to motivate you to prove that 'this isn't who I am' by being the one always going to his when he moves into his place, because he's a lazy arse who doesn't want to keep coming to yours when he's not at his Mum and Dad's.

If you then do ask him to come to you, it'll be 'I TOLD you that you'd still want me to do all the running!'

He's already achieved the first piece of it by having you wonder how he can believe this of you.

This will be only the start of him being a complete arse. He's a dud, OP.

"I get that you resent having to do all the traveling. Maybe we should cool things until you have your own place"

Text him this

Excellent response OP.

He's a twat.
I hope you can see it.
Don't ignore red flags, you will regret it.