Unrealistic expectations?

[BrandNewBag]

We've been together for 20 years, now early forties with kids age 4 upwards. I am so desperate for my husband to really want me. We have sex fairly regularly, but it's so vanilla unless I instigate more, and even then he's hesitant. I can walk around naked and it's like he doesn't even notice. I long for surprise kisses or for him to grab me as I'm walking past him. I've brought it up before and he seemed genuinely surprised and upset that it was an issue for me, but it's not really got any better. Is this just it after all this time? Do I just need to accept it?

I'd say it's fairly normal. Is he affectionate to you? Shows love? Does he ever compliment you?

Whe dh and I first got together everything turned us on. Now 16 years in, we still enjoy sex but a lot of the time are too knackered. I walk round naked and he doesn't blink, it's normal he sees me naked every day. Dh is thoughtful and kind but not romantic

My wife and I are in our 40s. I still find her very attractive and I would love to move close and kiss her when she walks past me, but I don't think she wants me to, so I don't. On the other hand, I have male friends who have lost a lot of their interest in sex and physical passion.

So I think it's partly just about luck of how your partner turns out as they get older. But maybe he'd react to lingerie? That can be more of a mood-setter sometimes and then it's fun to get to nakedness from there. Or maybe make a deal that he'll initiate something a bit different once a month, during the first week of each month for instance?