Single and lack of intimacy

[Cinnamorolls]

Anyone single and having to cope with lack of intimacy? How do you cope 🥲 fwb aren't for me nor is casual sex. Anyone else in this situation?

@Cinnamorolls tbh I think I’ve met more - and more interesting- people from singles Hiking Groups than the gruesome apps. And if you don’t meet anyone special at least you get a good day out in the hills!

Ive Been celibate since I was 28 I’m now 36 I do feel a bit sad that I’m missing what should be my “best” years! Dating isn’t an option even if I wanted to. I’m worried when my kids do finally grow up and I finally get some time to myself I won’t want it anymore 😕

@Cinnamorolls this is exactly the thing, I worry I’ll be single for life. On the very rare occasion my mum has had my daughter overnight, I’m so knackered i’d rather have a bath and a glass of wine than have anyone over 🤣

The only way Fwb can work is if they adore you and would want to be in a relationship but you don't as they're too young or thick or something.
But why don't you look for a boyfriend?

Oh I see.
It's not impossible I've managed to get an understanding boyfriend. One with 50/50 kids.
How old are your children? I was with my now ex boyfriend when toddler was young so didn't understand - I can see with older kids you wouldn't want to confuse them

Intimacy comes in many forms. Emotional connection and intimacy between two parties is common but doesn't have to be physical. Physical touch enhances intimacy.
I can have an intimate conversation with a friend either F-2-F or on the phone the only difference is at the end of the F-2-F we will hug.
I can also be in someone's company and feel intimacy without physicality, this comes from knowing someone's mind intimately.
I have an intimate relationship with someone. We meet twice a year to consummate the physical side, but weekly we will chat and keep the emotional connection. It suits us both because of circumstance.
There is always a way. It doesn't always have to be conventional

I think I've healed up, it's been that long. 😉

I hear you. It’s been so long that the thought of PIV actually scares me that it will be too painful after this amount of time.

No chance, I’m with my kids 24/7 so unless I bring them on dates (obviously won’t) it isn’t happening which is why I’ve been single for so long

Me too, my life is pretty good and ruthlessly well organised but even so, the thought of my sex life ending in my forties is painful. I only had 2 relationships, I was just getting started 😭.

If you do want to go on dates then options could be

1. If you have a spare room get an au pair of DBS checked lodger who could babysit once or twice a week
2. Buddy up with another solo mum so you can do sleepovers every other weekend and get some time off, or even just Saturday lunchtime and do your first dates then and then book babysitter for dates 2-3

I don’t have money for sitters tbh babysitting swaps aren’t an option I have more than 1 child people aren’t up for that understandably. I don’t mind not dating I haven’t really got the time for it, it’s just the intimacy that’s difficult.

You are not alone @Cinnamorolls. Single mum here. Been 7 years now with no sex. I also feel sad that i might not have sex again and as other PPs have said i feel im missing out on my best years. Difference btw us is that ive been on a few dates, my kids are fairly independent. The ones i kinda fancy disappear after about 2 dates. Last one i felt a connection with but hey... I don’t do fwb or casual also, so i guess we see what 2025 brings!

Literally me to the letter! It’s frustrating

Ive been single for over 7 years , i’m a kidney transplant recipient & I really struggle to find someone will like me for me & inside I mentally beat myself up because I feel so low about it ,

At 63 I'm trying to come to terms that I'm not likely to experience intimacy again.

I'd happily sacrifice sex for intimacy.

Get yourself a phone buddy

I’ve been single 7 years, I have had a few brief flings in that time although non for ages. I could technically have a fwb, I don’t get feelings through sex alone or need an emotional connection for sex…but it isn’t really about that. For me, I don’t think there’s going to be a huge amount of respect involved in a casual set up. And no way of knowing what else they’re getting up to which opens up the risk of sti even with protection. Realistically the dating pool of men I would want a relationship with is tiny so I have opted out all together. I appreciate this isn’t what most people would choose but it works for me. I may meet someone randomly in person one day, who knows 🤷‍♀️😅