new to dating...how to broach conversations about protection

[oldernotwiserffs]

No judgement please, I feel very silly and anxious about this.

I'm new to dating and have been seeing a guy who I have slept with twice. The first time I didn't plan to sleep with him and only thought about protection afterwards, the second time I had condoms but got caught up in the moment. I have booked an appt at an STI clinic.

I am due to see him again this week but I do want to use protection if we have sex again. How and when should I broach the subject? If I leave it til we're getting hot and steamy I may get carried away like last time but if I say in advance it might seem a bit pre-emptive.

What is the ettiquette?

Just have an adult conversation. Sorry if that blunt but you’re writing like you have zero agency in what happens to your body here. Probably best to get yourself on the pill or coil too as besides an STI you’re running a very real risk of getting pregnant

I wouldn't worry about being pre emptive when you've already had sex. Might have been presumptive to discuss if you weren't sure that the other person wanted to. But seeing as you already have, it's more than fair game to discuss. I'm surprised the other person didn't broach the subject if I'm honest, in this day and age it's so risky to not use protection with a new partner when STIs are rampant. I don't mean any judgement in that BTW, just the way it is. Good plan to get the tests done. I'd just not overthink it now. Next time you are together bring it up. 'We got carried away the last couple of times and never discussed protection and contraception. I'm not comfortable having sex without condoms going forward. Have you thought about it at all?'.

@remaininghopeful23 thank you, that's really helpful 🙂