I'm not really sure where to start but will share some facts. I'm an adult child with my own child, self sufficient and mostly independent. Never had best relationship with my father - Materialistic and emotionally abusive although I don't think I experience the emotional abuse anymore, just the trauma of it.
Step mother is the affair partner, many years since my parents divorced. Before my own child, very low contact and superficial relationship with both father and step mother. They showed more interest once baby came along. They only really contact me to ask after them.
They try to facilitate meeting as a wider family every month or so in public spaces which we almost always make the effort to go to. However, this festive period continues to highlight how shit it always makes me feel after being around them.
Main issues:-
They are always in a rush, don't really ask about me, my life, and if they do it's repeated questions of things I've already told them like they can't be bothered to remember previous conversations we have had.
When I enquire after them it's always a very broad answer like "same old" or if I enquire in a message how they are, they just don't answer that part of the message.
I don't know if it's me just being ridiculous but it's driving me round the bend. I dream of changing my name and disassociating with that side of the family probably because I'll never forget past trauma and how insignificant I feel a lot of the time. I'm trying to work out if it's something I've done as to why they are like that or if it's just me being weird.
My child had a significant diagnosis last year and after I told them they've never asked me once about it or how they are getting on or how I manage. My step sibling has a similar diagnosis so it's not as if she wouldn't know how tricky it can be.
I guess I don't know why I keep doing this when it makes me feel so shit.