I am going to, because dementia or no dementia she is an adult with autonomy and I'm not a bitch. But I don't want to.
My lovely gran has been here since the 20th. We've had a really gorgeous time together. Usually she is in another country (still in the UK), and around my healthcare degree I go down at least five times a year. This time she came up and it has just been wonderful. She is the most important person in my life alongside my partner and I regard her more of a mother than my mother ever was.
In a couple of days I'll be travelling down to my mother's with her to drop her off, she'll be there for new years. My mother has rarely been a good parent or carer and texted me randomly on christmas day that she is taking acid... as if I want or need to know about her habits after being subjected to them for my entire childhood?!
My gran is understandably quite different away from home and caring responsibilities feel higher than when I visit. I don't want her to go to my mum's and be cared for even slightly by my mum. My gran is also starting to make decisions on where to live and who to care for her going forward as she is aware that her current home is not suitable. I'm worried my mum will use this time to pressure her into moving there instead. I want her up where I am, well looked after by my partner and I in a secure home. My mum & I both have LPA (I know this will be asked).
I just feel very upset at the idea of taking her to my mum's. Obviously I will, my gran is excited, but I'm sad, and I don't want to let her go :(
Sorry if this is a bit rambly. It's been a tough year.