I am a bit sceptical about the whole limerance thing. I can’t see why it’s any different from old fashioned falling in love, except for the fact that it’s not making you happy! Is it limerance if you are, say, in a mutually affectionate relationship with someone in the forces who spends a lot of time away from you? Because you’d be having the same feelings then also - pining, obsessing etc, but people would respect that situation and call it ‘love’.
Idk, I digress a bit.
anyway I have had seven months of obsessing over someone. I simply could not block them (they are in a complicated long term relationship but feel the same way about me but we cannot be together). I know blocking has the potential to work for many people but for me it just made the obsession worse as I would constantly wonder if they were trying to contact me. I knew that I just had to let the situation run its course and hope feelings died down.
I can say that I am much better now seven months in than I was three months ago. I feel more rational.
the things I found worked are:
not blocking but seriously reducing contact to very short messages and the avoidance of deep conversations
hypnosis - I just used a Spotify programme for healing heartbreak and think it did work
taking lions mane! Could be placebo but it has potential to reduce anxiety and I do feel more rationale since using it
breathing - get right into your diaphragm as this is where a lot of pent up emotion is stored. You really have to release the physical stress inside you and do breathing will reset nervous system.
distraction - don’t be too ambitious and tire yourself out. Do something mundane with your hands like craft of cleaning and give it your entire focus
escape - watch tv and read anything to get yourself out of your head. If you find you are unable to concentrate then just try in short bursts
journal - I have filled volumes of notebooks getting it all out and I find it satisfying to look back and see the progress made in twelve weeks.
time - there is as others say no getting around the fact that this, like everything, will pass. Have faith that the world will look different to you in three months time, even if you do nothing.
exercise - sweating will get rid of cortisol the stress hormone and you need to purge yourself of stress and create a relaxed body so you can direct your energy at building resilience.
believe me, I have had it bad. Have not been able to work or anything over last six months. But time is helping and a positive attitude to create those all important new habits is working well - it’s just slow to kick in.
depending on your particular situation (your post is quite short) there may be other forces at play, like intermittent reinforcement which will see you staying hooked if he, for instance, contacts you or gives out mixed signals whether intentional or not. This is where my problem lay. I have been totally bombarded with push/pull behaviour where the man in question would love bomb me all day long and then go back to his gf and cancel me in the evening until the next day when it’d all start up again. It just kept me hooked as he would cause my pain and then only he could ease the pain he’d created! It’s still going on. But I’m now at the point where I am able to identify this and ‘self soothe’ the negative feelings away, which is helping me by building up my strength and breaking the intermittent reinforcement cycle.
it’s hard work. But just remember time is your friend and you just need to find the tactics that work for you in the meantime just wait for your feelings to change which they will if you want them to.