Confused by STBXH's complete 180

[Lemonadedreams293]

We have been separated for most of this year but spent Christmas together for the DC. STBXH has treated me appallingly during seperation/ divorce and there's absolutely no hope of reconciliation as he has a new partner who he lives with however after treating me with such little respect and kindness he is now going out of his way to 'help' me with things, being overly nice and bought me more gifts this Christmas than the last 5 combined. This is throwing me completely. I am not past the completely blindsided/ heartbroken phase and I just don't know how to take it. Is it just guilt on his part?

Hoping you may overlook your full entitlement in the divorce settlement maybe?

Trying to butter you up. Beware what he will ask for next.

Cynical me would think so but I've got a very fair settlement which is pending final sign off with the court.

Maybe the grass isn't greener and he making certain you welcome him with open arms when he flatters you with attention latter. Wife and new partner swapping places.

Orrrr....perhaps being less cynical, now that the devorce settlement has resolved his resentment has faded, he's happier/guilty and have returned to sanity??

I think perhaps you should try and stop giving his behaviour headspace and trying to work out why he is behaving this way. You are used to having to centre his behaviour in your life, but you don't any more, his reasons don't matter; take the (slight) win and crack on with living your own life without reference to him. If it lasts, great, if it doesn't you won't have wasted too much time on it.

He could be doing this to mess with your mind, see if he can draw you back in. I had an ex as a teen that did this, came back seemed interested and changed long enough to draw me back in then dropped me again. The why doesn't matter, you're not in a relationship anymore. The important thing here is you find a way to stop cantering his behaviour and needs.

I know how hard this is, I still feel all the hooks XH put in, I'm so used to thinking of him before me, worrying about how he'll take things, trying to guess what his reaction would be and it's hard to break away from that. He got the kids chocolate stockings over Christmas and he'd gotten really angry at me in the past for allowing anything like that on Christmas morning I was getting pissed off thinking about it, then I realised this is exactly like him, it wasn't complex, just another example of why he's an ex. This isn't complex and it doesn't matter. He could be playing with you, he could be trying to make sure he has you as a fall back, it doesn't matter.