Are these things disrespectful or am I being too sensitive?

[ThisTealLeader]

Just a few examples of things my husband has done over the last couple of days. Are they disrespectful or am I being too sensitive?

Said what an awful job we have done parenting our son when he was making a fuss about going for a walk?

Pointed out that I have several gray hairs coming through when out on the walk and then was annoyed at my reaction when I said what am I supposed to say to that??

Called me ‘she’ to our son in the context of talking about something he does not want me to do in the future with our son ie she will probably be doing that anyway.

Told me to shut up, I’m going to the gym, when I said let’s try and plan a monthly date night. He’s always saying we should go out more and that I don’t plan anything.

They aren’t big things on their own but after a while these sort of things are just getting me down. I feel so devalued and small. Just want to hide anyway but got family coming to stay so need to put on a front.

I was leaning towards maybe your husband just isn't great with words and maybe just comes across a bit blunt while reading the first few paragraphs of your post.
Then I got the part where he told you to shut up. That would definitely be unacceptable to me.

"I feel so devalued and small". This is how I feel in my own (extremely toxic) relationship. I am getting all my ducks in a row to escape in 2025.

I read recently the most important thing is how you feel in the relationship. Do you feel happy, loved, respected, most of the time. Or do you feel devalued, small, unappreciated etc, most of the time.

You already have your answer. Please don't gaslight yourself into thinking you are too sensitive, overreacting, or your feelings do not matter. He sounds like a miserable arse.

As well as the "shut up" I also wouldn't like the "she" especially if in a negative tone. My own 'partner' often uses "she" to refer to a woman he doesn't like very much, he never uses her name. I have reason to not like her that much either but I still use her name.
It can be dehumanising and disrespectful to do this.

Just the 'shut up' would make it very clear that he doesn't like you very much.
Life is too short to tolerate this bs from some wanker of a bloke and I hope you realise you are worth so much more.