Let me ask you guys a question. I know a couple, he's 55 and she's 54. They have been married 14 years and been together some 20+ years. They get along great, enjoy each other's families and have a fairly descent life. They have never been one of those touchy feely couples who can't seem to keep their hands off each other. They've never been big huggers towards each other and they told me a few times that they tried holding hands in the mall once and it just didn't feel right. Granted, they look forward to the weekends so they can hang out together. They may go to the mall together and if she's looking for a new dress he's right there with her but if he is looking for a shirt, tie, or suit she's right there with him helping make the selection.
Here's the thing. When they first met the wife weighed maybe 100 lbs. She was lean and slim and he loved it. He always had an affection to slender petite girls. They don't have anyt kids together but she had 2 from her first marriage and he had one from a previous relationship. Down through the years she has said that she was tired of always being the slender girl so when she started putting on weight she put on weight. On the past years she has gotten up to at least 160+ and is now having health issues but she refuses to lose some weight or even get back down to closer to the size when he met her. Granted, he's put on weight too but we're probably talking 20 lbs or so. As a result their sex life has suffered. He told me that he still loves her but now he no longer finds her attractive. They haven't had sex in quite a while. He has expressed his concerns to her and she feels he should love her the way she is and not the way she was. He even told her she didn't have to get back down to the weight she was when they met but if she could lose 20 lbs or so that would make the world of difference. She will join a gym and maybe go for a month then stop. She'll buy exercise equipment and not use it.
Now she is demanding that he start being more intimate with her and now she wants the romance back. She says it's the little things like if they're sitting on the sofa she wants to put her feet up on his lap and he massage her feet. When they go to bed she wants him to snuggle with her more. No, not sex, just romance. She said they never really was the touchy feely person so now she is demanding something she's never really had. I told her that she can't expect him to just all of a sudden start being Don Jaun overnight if she's not willing to bend a little too. Her weight is a problem for him but she refuses to focus on that. All she sees are other couples who seem to have the perfect life and she wants what they have. He feels that at this age it's not as much about the romance as it is spending time with each other and enjoying life. She wants to act like they're teenagers again. Anytime a commercial comes on TV of an older couple on a mountain hike, canoeing down a quiet stream, walking arm in arm at a farmer's market she feels that she could have that too.
What do you guys think? Is she asking for too much? Again, can you now demand what you've never really had. She has mentioned divorce a few times too.