I lost it last night. I had an argument with DH about something really stupid, saw red, screamed abuse, slammed doors and really upset the kids ( they were in bed but obv. heard the commotion) before storming out.
Things have been pretty strained since before christmas with Dh and I, and I have been working really hard not to get SO angry about things. I just feel so bad. We sat the kids down this morning and explained that we were both wrong to get so angry and Dh apologised to both me and kids. I got very upset and asked the kids if they would like me to go away for a while... stupid I know, but I just feel as though sometimes they would be better off if I was not here. It is usually me who looses it and whilst I have been really 'good', I feel I have let the side down. We recently did house rules and I broke every single one of them in about 15mins... what an example I am eh?
The reason I think I get so angry is issues with his family and the lack of discussion about things.... nothing ever gets really properly resolved. I'm so tired of it all. I've kept all my pent up frustrations inside for almost 4 months and I guess last night it just all got to me.
Someone please reassure me that I'm not alone here. I know I behaved appallingly, I just want to fix it and make the kids feel Ok. My Ds cuddled me as soon as he saw me this morning but one of my Dd's would not look at me or kiss me goodbye before she went to school.
Just a mess.....