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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Outbursts of Anger.....

2 replies

fluxy3 · 02/05/2008 10:11

I lost it last night. I had an argument with DH about something really stupid, saw red, screamed abuse, slammed doors and really upset the kids ( they were in bed but obv. heard the commotion) before storming out.
Things have been pretty strained since before christmas with Dh and I, and I have been working really hard not to get SO angry about things. I just feel so bad. We sat the kids down this morning and explained that we were both wrong to get so angry and Dh apologised to both me and kids. I got very upset and asked the kids if they would like me to go away for a while... stupid I know, but I just feel as though sometimes they would be better off if I was not here. It is usually me who looses it and whilst I have been really 'good', I feel I have let the side down. We recently did house rules and I broke every single one of them in about 15mins... what an example I am eh?
The reason I think I get so angry is issues with his family and the lack of discussion about things.... nothing ever gets really properly resolved. I'm so tired of it all. I've kept all my pent up frustrations inside for almost 4 months and I guess last night it just all got to me.
Someone please reassure me that I'm not alone here. I know I behaved appallingly, I just want to fix it and make the kids feel Ok. My Ds cuddled me as soon as he saw me this morning but one of my Dd's would not look at me or kiss me goodbye before she went to school.
Just a mess.....

OP posts:
Toots · 02/05/2008 16:02

I feel for you fluxy3. Your DD might be scared that you are going to leave, that wouldn't be something she would want I don't think. She probably thinks you don't love her and if she's a bit older she probably thinks you should learn to control yourself. Don't take it personally. She needs reassurance and she needs you not to fly off the handle.

I think you need to accept responsibility for your anger. Although unresolved issues are frustrating, it's not really your dh's family's fault that you are having angry outbursts. It's probably a lot more deep seated than that? It feels awful to you now but once a few days have gone by you will probably feel a bit better.

Nagapie · 02/05/2008 16:22

fluxy - been there and done that so many times...

I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but have you tried a bit of assertiveness training?? It might just help you express your anger in a less hostile way - it did help me ...

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